All of this began a couple days after classes finally began, almost two weeks ago.
I'll be concise:
I've been seriously thinking about starving to death.
I've got a couple reasons to feel like this.
First of all, I lost my job, or more honestly, I quited. It was inconceivable to me to be absent in the first two classes of each day for two whole weeks. I couldn't help that.
Second, while looking for another job, I've been put in some sort of "wait-list", none of the enterprises in where I went looking for job had called me back.
Also, my family has helped me even when I had nothing to bring back. I cannot reciprocate their efforts, since I got nothing, not a single cent to pay for the food I'm receiving from them.
Many could say "but they must help you. They're your family after all." No, it's not their obligation, they have children to take care of; they got a house whose services they have to pay monthly; and I was able to be to do my stuff —paying for the services I used, paying my daily transportation to school and back home, paying for my own food— all by myself.
Now I'm useless.
Eating makes me feel guilty.
Taking a shower makes me feel guilty.
Receiving money from my family and some friends makes me feel guilty.
My best friend said "it's okay, you helped me a couple years ago." But now it's different, he has his own debts; he has to take care of himself.
A nice friend from school said "I'll feed you. You've done many things for me," but I cannot accept it.
I will lie to everyone. I will greet everyone with a smile on my face saying everything is okay.
Let's see how far my lie can reach.
