Together By Myself

Chapter one

The first thing anyone experiences is pain. We scream and cry, while the people around you are happy and they hold you and talk about how beautiful you are. But, you don't remember. What's the last thing you can remember? Smiles, laughing, crying, your parents kissing you, saying they love you? knowing who you are, a bubbly little kid who just wants to play and be happy..? And forgetting. Growing up and having less and less memory of the past. But still knowing you. This is the life I wanted. This is the life I never knew. I knew pain. And I never forgot...

"Hey. Get out of bed." What a nice way to wake up. My mom ripped my blanket off me and threw it on the floor beside her, then went to open the window. I wanted to stay in bed. Most people would. But I knew if I did, she would hurt me. I learned that the hard way. So, I jumped up, made my bed and waited for my mom to tell me what to wear. This happened every single day. I didn't know any other life. This was my morning. My mom picked out a dress with a tight fitting top and a poofy bottom that went down to my ankles. She put it on the end of my bed and told me to hurry up and get dressed so we can have breakfast, then left me alone in my cold small room to get this tight dress on that I barely knew how to tie up at the back. I was 8 years old at the time. When I was younger my mom would help me get my clothes on and tie the bow. On my birthday last year, she told me I would have to start doing it myself. I tried to ask her if I could where wear a t-shirt and pants like all the other girls I knew, but she didn't listen. well, I'm sure she was listening because see bruised my arm in a couple of different places, but she just didn't care about my opinion. So, like every other day, I put on the dress, though it barley fit, tried my best to do the bow and went down stairs to set the table for breakfast. "Did you do your school work?"
"Yes mama."
"Did you tidy your room?"
"Yes mama."
"Did you do the laundry?"
"Yes mama."
The only conversation at breakfast. It was better this way though. If she was talking about anything else, I was in trouble. The las time that happened was about four months ago. I got a B+ instead of an A or A+ so she gave me a two hour lecture on how she doesn't want to raise a failure and I'm a waist of skin. Because of how long it took, I couldn't get all my chores down so I got a ruler to the wrist 15 times. Honestly, sometimes I feel like she purposely made that my grade so she could hurt me. I was home schooled so it was possible. After breakfast, I did my chores, made lunch, ate lunch, more chores, be yelled at for doing something wrong, dinner, bed, repeat. And that is what most of my childhood looked like. Until I snapped at my mom. If I didn't do that, maybe it would all be okay. Maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe;

Stay tuned for the next chapter <3