Diary of a split mind

Day 1 - morning.

My head hurts. As does my entire body. Not that this is unusual for me, however there is something rather saddening about pain being the first sensation you feel when you start to regain consciousness. I hadn't even opened my eyes yet, and my head was pounding so much I feared it may burst at any moment. My ears felt funny too, which is ironic because I did not feel like laughing at all- it was as if they'd been stuffed with cotton wool. Groaning as I did so, I moved my arms around, attempting to feel my surroundings. I was definitely in bed, or a bed at least -and alone. Good. I did not want to deal with an overgrown fart grenade this morning. Finally I opened my eyes to see where I was today. I was in a warm room which was maroon in colour , and very soft and bright. There was a bedside table next to my left, with an aloe Vera plant and a drink on top of it. Next to that was a big window, adorned with various little trinkets and ornaments of horses , and a couple more plants. Soft dark curtains stood at each side of the window , which informed me that I must have been too exhausted to close them last night. It was then I realised how incredibly thirsty I was. I reached for the drink beside me , pulling myself into a sitting position as I did so-and downed the contents. This instantly made me feel better, but it did not explain what happened to my memory, or the throbbing pain I was feeling. I looked around for some more clues, hoping to make sense of all this . There was a chest of drawers in front of the bed I was sat up on, with an assortment of photographs displayed amongst it . In all of the photographs there were horses, and with them a dark haired woman riding them . With a jolt I realised who the woman was-it was me ! In that moment it all came flooding back. Going out, drinking and dancing with my friends .....coming home....crashing out in my room....my room! Of course this was my room! How could I have forgotten that? I lived here on my ranch in Texas for goodness sake! Oh man I must have gotten utterly gazebode last night. Just how much vodka did I drink?! No wonder my head hurts like this! Right , I need a long shower, paracetamol, and a fry up. Pronto. With that in mind I heaved myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom, turned the shower on , and brushed my teeth whilst I waited for it to heat up. It's a perfect trick - at least for my shower anyway- as it takes precisely two minutest heat up to my ideal temperature. So, once I'd finished my teeth I peeled off my clothes and stepped into my now steaming waterfall of a shower. Ahhhhh bliss! How can anyone not love this feeling? It just instantly relaxes me, calms down my clustered mind. Admittedly to the point of emptiness sure, but sometimes it's good to be vacant ....stops the burning pain in my head....at least temporarily anyway. As I washed my hair , I took the time to appreciate the lack of any other noise- bar the sound of running water and my pounding heart. It was soothing to have such quiet as this . Later I would go down to the stables
and take Celt, my favourite horse out for a ride . The feel of the wind rushing through my hair , the scent of celts mane and the feel of his fur against my fingers soothes my soul-which is exactly what I need right now .No-one demanding my energy, bombarding me with invasive questions that seem to never end.... just peacefully quiet . I need to feel free.