Starting Fresh. Spencer Reid X OC.

Duck Tape.

Spencer's POV

I laid on the bed and watched the light that moved through the house as cars drove past slowly. The street lamps barely provided me light. I was wide awake and so picked up my phone. The voicemail was still there and I felt a little angry. Venus had surely done or said something and wanted me to hear it but I didn't know that so I clicked on it and let it play. Tears began to stream down my face as her voice was used. It was hushed and nervous.

"Hey Spencer. I know that you are almost definitely too drunk to ever remember this voicemail but I love you. Even if you spend more of your time drunk than sober. I just thought that you would like to know that I am about to do my first ever profile and it will just be me. You aren't here to check my work but JJ told me that she knew I was a good profiler. I miss you, oh how I miss you. Not physically, I mean, if sober Spencer ever listens to this you are quite the hormonal drunk. Only with me though I noticed. I had to collect you from a pub and all of the girls were ignored. Men though, you gave a crack at one and called him Mozart. Anyway, I will see you after the case. I love you Spencer Reid. Don't ever forget that and you know what? If you are struggling I won't judge I just want you to talk to me. Bye Spencer."

I had been a mess for weeks and not once did I think about her. Or that she would be missing me and yet it suddenly made sense that she would. My legs moved over the edge of the bed and I found my legs moving to my room. I grabbed a spray and left. My steps quiet as I returned to remove the smell of alcohol. Her father suddenly filled my mind and I wanted to scream. I had been a mess and yet it was typical of me to do some sort of stupid thing and keep doing it. Drugs and alcohol were addictive and yet I always see myself as immune to them and get a massive shock when I get addicted.

I moved down the steps and saw her head as it rested on her left hand. She was watching the street walkers and tears seemed to be filling her eyes and cheeks. "Venus. I am so sorry." Her eyes darted to me and I waved a spray at her. She knew I had at the least tried to cover up the smell. "I just listened to your voicemail. I should have done it a while ago." She nodded at me but her eyes kept to the window. "Can I talk to you?" Her head nodded but her eyes screamed. "I am not sick and you aren't to blame. I was a little scared. Venus, when I was on that care a little while ago I had a thought about you and it scared me. If I drank I forgot that I had the thought and the fact that I wanted the thought to come to life. Venus, I wanted to marry you." Her body stopped the small moves as she stared out of the window a little more directly.

"You have an awfully funny way of showing it." Was all she said after four minutes and three seconds. "I know." Was all I could say. "If you do ever have the chance to propose to a woman or man, don't do this. Don't start to drink, ignore them or become a layabout. It sucks." My mind began to spin. "Do you not want to marry me?' I asked all of a sudden but she had begun to stand before I had began to speak. "Venus." I pulled at her arm and brought us chest to chest. My lips not far from hers. "Spencer, right now I am not sure I want to date you. Nevermind if I would marry you. Until I say so i want you to sleep in the spare room. You can take your clothes, no you will, and you can stay there. Earlier today I was considering the idea of moving out of here. Of leaving you. I was prepared to let you see your daughter only once every other weekend. That isn't because I hate you. It is because I love you so much and sometimes loving really means  letting go. Of giving them up so that they can be happy. I thought you were seeing another girl. Even though I thought that I still put you to bed every night just like I do with Liv and then I would climb into the bed beside you and find you gone in the morning. I had to wash you sometimes when you smelt too bad because if I didn't then I would spend all night scared because it is like I am a child again. Every time I close my eyes he is there and when I go to bed I am scared to wake in the morning because I have to deal with a deadbeat man in my life. Olivia will never see you like that. Do you hear me?" I was shocked at her honesty but I could only feel like she was right.

When I turned around I noticed that a pair of nosey people were stood behind us with squinting eyes. When I stepped aside Venus could see them and her body was gone from my side to theirs. "Go to bed Spencer man." Derek told me as they all went upstairs. "I do love you but you fucked up." I heard a faint cry from Venus and I remembered the meaning of that word. "Fuck." Something I had against her when we were together but we weren't anymore and that sucked. The fact that I had caused her to cry was enough and to me I felt like I had done more and in truth I definitely had. I returned to the spare room and let my mind close down falling to a deep sleep.

By the time I had woken up the house was like it had been before I started making a mess of the situation. My legs were a little unsteady but I made it down the stairs and could hear soft voices. "Honestly. It is like saying that you are lucky to be shot because that person has risked going to prison for it. She is an idiot." Venus seemed passionate. "What were her exact words?" Derek asked suddenly. "You should feel privileged to have a boyfriend who beats you because he is risking prison." Disgust was heavy in the air. "Reid. One egg or two?" Venus hadn't called me by my surname in a while and I was not a fan of it. Clearly she was being a little more serious than I had hoped but less than I deserved. "Two please." As I sat down a plate appeared and I thanked her. The bacon was tasty and it was something about Venus' cooking that was better than anyone else's. Kind of like 'just like mamma used to make' sort of thing. "Thank you Love." The name had slipped and I had a feeling that my face showed it but the others ignored it as the morning moved on. Olivia sat beside Garcia as she was fed. "Thanks Garcia. I can do it now." As Venus went to start Garcia was quick to smack her off. "No. I will, you have been doing this for two years." My mind seemed to restart and guilt ate at me. I had missed my only child's second birthday and I didn't even realise.