Is it bad ?

1

( hey, so I just want to explain this "book", this is not a story or something interesting, this is just my life. Also, my english is not very good so just close your eyes if you find a mistake. Thank you :) )

I don't know where it begin, but suddenly we were more...friends ?
I don't really know what happened, but I begin to see her... differently..?
I mean, I was reading into every words she say, every movements, every hugs.
I was a little bit lost, I didn't know what was happening.

Every night, I remember the day she told me that she think that she's in love with one of our friends group.
We were four, and, after a lot of reflexions, the girl she love...it's me ?
But I wasn't sure about that, and even now I don't think that she loves me.

I mean, I'm fat, ugly, dumb af, I have an annoying voice, I'm annoying by the way.
There's no way that she loves me.

This night, I was (like every night) thinking about her, and maybe... maybe I love her...in a way...?
I don't freaking know, I need more time, I need to think more, but I also need to be natural, to stay who I am, and it's pretty hard, I don't know what to do, what to say.
Everything is being awkward.

Aaaah. I think that I should sleep.
I'm so tired of thinking about her all time, why can't she go out of my head skfkfk.

No. Finally, don't go, stay in my head.
I love to think about you. That makes me happy.

I discovered a lot of things about myself that I didn't know.
Like, when I was with a boy, I was pretty sure that I was hetero.
But after that, I don't know what I am.
I told to my friends that I was bisexual, but I don't really know what I am, and I don't want to put a word there.
I'm just a girl loving another girl, nothing special...? I guess...?

I think I'm gonna sleep now, it's already 1am.

Gud night :).