Clockwork Dream

In Your Arms(Monarisa)

Flower forget-me-nots between the stones

Paving this grave ground. Here's honest rot

To unpick the heart, pare bone

Free of the fictive vein. When one stark skeleton

Bulks real, all saints' tongues fall quiet:

Flies watch no resurrections in the sun.

November Graveyard by Slyvia Plath

One of her favourite poems.

Reading had been a favored pastime on dull hours. Hours when she rode to her next destination-another tedious shoot or film location where she needed to pretend to be someone she wasn't. Sullen eyes locked on the rain-stained window of the van, taking in the moving scenery outside. She shifted her attention back to the words on her phone's screen after not finding the dreary and dull landscape worthwhile.

The tall, gray buildings have always made her gloomy and staring at them trapped her in a darker state of her mind. The poetry might have been as gray as the concrete structures looming over their moving vehicle, but she preferred its colorful words more than those actual colors. It distracted her from the now-where she felt like a being trapped in a box of expectations and constraints.

Right now, there came the longing for freedom- something she had never attained since her youth. The car stopped and she willed herself to reality, closing her phone and pocketing it into her coat as the door opened for her. Out she ambled into the welcoming shivers of the cold; winter greeted her with a misty exhale as soon as she took a few hasty steps.

"Risa. Stop zoning out." Her manager chided lightly, patting her tired back into straightening as she entered another concrete cage for another photo shoot. She gave him a tired nod and proceeded with the task, greeting the staff along the way with a half- hearted smile she had practiced for shows and a weary bow that came undetected by the busy crew.

She scampered into the dressing room and was immediately dragged into a chair where, once she was settled, the makeup artist began to work their magic of making her look the least bit alive. Such was her monotonous routine, a weary cycle which she had never chosen for herself. They said it was destiny and she thought it was stupid. She never got the morsel of a choice to define her own path, but that was the least of her worries given her current situation.

Her grueling work schedules never permitted for fleeting thoughts of a different life or a sense of freedom she sought for herself. But those colorful words stored in her phone's memory reminded her of what life was meant to be, what should have beens, and what ifs. It spoke of adventure and challenges.

She awakened from her reverie when the director called for her attention. A scolding followed for being dazed in a shoot. She apologized meekly; taking note not to spoil the shoot with those imaginations of hers.

"I'm sorry. I was just tired. I'll do better this time." She bowed and proceeded with the shoot. The director, despite his chiding, was delighted that she brought out good results of the shoot and had later on applauded her outstanding perfomance as a model.

She thanked the director for his praise and bowed to the staff in gratitude for putting up with her exhausted self. The manager patted her back, commending her for the job. She smiled that practiced smile, masking the fatigue very well.

"Time to head home, Risa." Her manager mused as they walked to the awaiting van.

She smiled genuinely for the first time.

She was finally going home.

The ride made her grow impatient as she watched with bated breaths, the blurring tree lines and concrete giants casting a long shadow over the darkening horizon. Eyes peered into the clock, quietly counting the number of minutes it took for her to reach her destination. Her enthusiasm grew as the vehicle turned to a familiar neighbourhood. Her eyes took in the exclusive part of the city, fingers trembled in excitement, and heart pounded in anticipation of a homecoming she direly missed the whole day.

"I'm home." She muttered under her breath as she slipped off her shoes after closing the door. Footsteps unceremoniously padded through the foyer and a pair of arms engulfed her tired form. A genuine smile appeared accross her face as she turned to bask into the warmth of the individual giving her a welcome hug.

"Welcome back, Risa" The hug tightened before it loosened comfortably around her shoulders.

A relieved sigh escaped her lips as she rested her head on a comfortable shoulder. She felt a hand gently run down through her tresses, easing out the knots of exhaustion as they finished off in a soothing circle down her back. She leaned into the warm person, resting her weight on the strong yet petite form.

A chuckle kept her from fully closing her drooping eyelids shut. "You're exhausted, Risa." It was a statement made by her pillar as a pair of strong arms kept her from falling to the floor.

"Shida...." She drawled, exhaustion clearly showed in her voice. A pair of eyes met hers and she pouted at her younger and taller lover. "I'm hungry and sleepy." Lips presses against her forehead, nose and lastly her lips before her lover held her hands, wrapping them around the younger one's waist before they paraded through the foyer and into the kitchen where her lover made her a quick meal that left her stomach satisfied. They managed that with Risa latching on to her lover's waist, her head resting on the younger's shoulder as she watched her meal being made.

She was pushed into the bathroom after dinner; prompted to take the quick, warm shower before she was made to settle for bed after having her hair dried by her lover.

Risa sprawled face first onto the bed. "Hmmm." She purred as fingers combed over her hair. A high-pitched laugh echoed through the room. "You're loving this, Watanabe Risa!"

She shifted to her side, facing her lover. A weary smile painted her lips. "I'd love a message..." Her eyes noted her lover's pursed lips before a pout appeared. Yet her smile never faltered when she watched her lover sit up. She felt hands leading her to lie on her stomach before hands gently ran down her back, kneading some of her stiff muscles into relaxing.

"Now,I'm loving this...." Risa sighed in content as she reveled in the soothing message that her lover was providing her. She groaned when she felt a body plop on top of her, burying her into the matress.

"Oww... You're going to crush me, Shida!"

A chuckle and her teasing lover got off of her. Risa shifted to her side and faced her amused lover. Her exhaustion left her after the relaxing message and little roughhousing with her lover.

"Shida..."

"Hmm?"

"Shida..."

"What?"

"Shida Manaka..."

"Watanabe Risa..."

She smiled, loving how her name smoothly rolled off her lover's tongue.

"Am I home?" A blurry inquiry amidst sleepy eyes.

Her lover scooted closer, arms unceremoniously wrapped around Risa's form, drawing the older one closer to the younger one's warmth.

"It depends on how you define a home, Risa. How do you see it anyway?"

"Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you're at your worst."

The hold around her form tightens as lips press against her crown. She burrows into her lover's body, inhaling her lover's similar and familiar sweet scent of chamomile and lavender. Her arms wrap around her lover's form; a whisper escaping her lips.

"So, am I home?"

She could sense her lover smile before her lover's husky voice whispered back in certainty.

"You are,Risa. You're home in my arms."

Risa smiled in her sleep. She did not need sophisticated poetry or prose at the moment. All she needed was a home; a pair of arms to hold her when she's exhausted of the day's battles. A pair of arms that would keep her safe from the vicious reality that plagued her during the day.