Mor•phine||Ziam

Chapter 6: E•vade

His curly haired friend continued rubbing his back so softly. "Louis is a blessing to me. A real miracle." Zayn could gag at the intoxicating swoon that dripped off Harry's tongue. "And for you and Liam, maybe he's gay or bi himself. With the way he talks about you and how he looks at you. Maybe he needs you to be the one to help show him. To help open his eyes to the possibilities."

The raven haired boy grew curious at his friend's words. They sounded like a hilarious joke to Zayn though none of it was. It was all serious talk of course but it couldn't be true like Harry kept on mentioning. Liam wasn't gay. He didn't have feelings for Zayn like the boy had hoped deep down. If Harry only knew what happened on that horrid day. Like it would matter. There was no point in any of it if Harry wanted to get technical.

Flipping over, the young Bradford boy looked into the warm emerald eyes that stared back at him with sincerity and a hint of worry.

"You don't get it, Harry." Zayn began shamefully, siting up. "I-we-I touched him." Was all he could get it before tearing up at that horrifying memory of him on top of Liam, moving and—Zayn was a monster. Liam wouldn't have wanted it.

If only he wasn't so god damn oblivious but then again maybe it was a good thing that he was. He hadn't picked up on what Zayn had done to him which was confusing since Zayn was obviously hard. Then again that made Zayn feel like he had almost taken advantage of the latter but at the same time he wasn't for sure. The thought wildly ruminated in Zayn's mind overheating his brain.

Harry's eyes were saucers. His body had pulled back and Zayn didn't blame his reactions. "You did? H-How?"

This was so much harder than Zayn thought. He wasn't even planning on ever telling Harry. He never even thought he'd be cornered like this by his mate. Zayn thought he'd just avoid Harry for the rest of his time during training but how could he when he shared a freaking bunk with him.

"I-" Zayn sat up groaning in frustration at how hard it was to just tell his friend the truth. "We were messing about. He was tickling me then I was tickling him and the next thing you know he was under me and it-it felt so good-" a tear fell from his eye as he reminisced that day. Liam was so happy and so fucking oblivious. And then-

"I couldn't help it. I got so lost in the moment. I could feel him under me. I let my feelings take over and before I knew it I was almost dry   humping him and he just laid there confused and-"

'"Zayn?"' Liam's tone was so innocent it was unbearable. Zayn couldn't handle it. It was like he was reliving that nightmare. He had the desire to jump up and leave like he'd done that very day but he couldn't. It was out now and he could not wait for Harry to punch him and call him a fool just to get over with it.

'You fag! You deserve to get punched for what you did almost taking advantage of a straight guy who'd never like you.' Zayn blinked back a waterfall of tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. "I-I'm a monster." He shamefully stated in a broken tone.

Harry's brows knitted together shockingly in confusion. And his lips pursed like he was trying to figure something. "Monster?" He slowly shook his head in a disagreeing way yet the look in his eyes were neutral though a moment ago they were full of shock. That made Zayn confused himself—Harry was supposed to punch him!

"Zayn, your too hard on yourself." He remarked in a serious sounding voice. Harry reached over to wipe away a tear from Zayn's cheek with a quick swipe of his big thumb. "Liam doesn't know what you did or how you-"