The start.

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07.26.03 10.00pm

Looking down. Looking up. Everything i can see is a little star in front of my eyes. Just a fucking little star. Free and happy. A tear left my chocolate brown eye, traveling down my cheek. When I opened my eyes, I realised it was 10pm and I'm still alive. I need to write a letter and then I'm gonna leave forever. I took a piece of paper and started to write things. My left hand wrote so many words I couldn't say with my mouth.

*1hour later*

I put the letter in a envelope. The envelope had the title: I will meet satan soon. Satan is my bff since i was five. I'm so thankful to him, I'm wanna give him all the support back. I took a little red box under my bed. There were all the stuff in it for my present. Pills, Blades, Razors. I took one of the silver blades and rolled my sleeves up. There was my wrist. My wrist full of scars, some of them were old, but there wad a lot fresh ones too. I started to do some art on my wrist, some red and painful art. This art makes me feel so loved, they're here for me when i needed them. Blood dripped down my arm. My bed was full of blood. Beautiful, Bordeaux blood.

07.26.03 12.00pm

After a few minutes I stopped. I took a container full of sleeping pills. I named  the container with "happiness". I placed myself on the floor. I took one, then another one till i had 10. I will continue. After 48 pills I saw a little light in front of my eyes. It's welcoming me to satan. I took another one. I saw satan in front of me, giving me his hand. After another pill i accepted his hand and was happy.

07.26.03 12.59pm

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