Our lives alibis

Chapter9: When we did not love each other yet

POV Albus

When he sat on the bench next to me, I felt my anger begin to melt like snow in the sun.

Scorpius, I've needed him so much for so long ... how to live without half of yourself?

So when I saw that he was angry at our fathers, he too, I felt better, at once. Including. Finally.

He told me that he had spoken to his father, and that he made him understand that he did not agree. What courage ... I stupidly acquiesced in front of mine, but it must be said that there was my brother and sister ... not easy to speak in front of them.

At the same time I would like to speak to my father, at the same time I am afraid. Evoking her feelings, it will necessarily evoke mine for Scorpius, and I do not want to.

It does not concern him ... and I would have preferred to know nothing of his own. It's none of my business.

Especially since I do not really know where I am, with Scorpius.

I need him, irresistibly, his presence, his sweetness, his listening.

I need to exist in his eyes, to snuggle up against him, to smell him.

When I slip my hand into his hand, I feel happy, alive. Invincible.

Nothing exists but him and me. Our combined forces. Our eternal friendship.

Friendship?

I am troubled by what happened last night. Troubled by my reactions. When we ended up in the library, after the meal, I hugged him in his arms, as I like to do.

To be consoled.

And I wanted more.

I had a stomach ache from wanting it, but I did not dare to tell him or show it to him.

My body wants but I do not want it. Not really.

Sometimes I feel like throwing myself at him, and doing with him everything I dream of, every night. Everything I think of at night, in my bed.

And then the next morning I'm ashamed, I think back to what my mother told me, I think back to my father and I tell myself that I do not want to live this.

A forbidden love, to hide, all the time, everywhere.

Because I do not have the strength to face the eyes of others.

The look of my mother.

ooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOO

This morning my father summoned me to his office. As a son or as a student?

I enter, he sits behind his desk, dressed as a teacher, and he intimidates me.

He motioned me to sit on the chair in front of his desk.

- Albus, I learned you were not doing well right now ...

- By who ?

- Let's say it's pretty visible.

He lies. I'm sure it was Draco Malfoy who told him about what his son had told him about us. On the pillow?

I look at my dad, and I can not help but think that he's probably slept with Scorpius' father tonight, and that disgusts me.

He resumed :

- I confess that I am a little surprised, because I thought that if there was someone who could understand me, it was you, precisely.

- Why ? I ask defiantly.

- Because you're friends with Scorpius, and you love to go home. I am wrong ?