From Cyberlife, With Love

Car Ride

Connor was unusually quiet in the passenger's seat of Hank's going on 15-year-old car, the heavy metal of Knights of the Black Death unable to rattle his thoughts from his cranium. PTSD is what some would call it, but he didn't have a brain really that acquire such a disruption... He's overanalyzing again. He hadn't noticed the car starting to slow until Hank pulled up along side an empty portion of a park, the children's play equipment covered in melting snow. For the middle of January, it had been rather warm the past dozen days. That could only mean that more snow was to come. Nature was just making room for it.

"What is this thing you couldn't discuss in the office?" Hank was to the point, shutting off the car and turning down the loud music just enough so they could hear each other but no one would think to interrupt them if they came along. He really wanted to know what was festering inside the android's mind, seeing as it kept him silent so long. And he had been gone for a long month or more. "This is a quiet place and no one would know we're here." He added to ensure Connor couldn't get around answering.

"It's a long story, Lieutenant." He didn't turn to face Anderson when he spoke, forehead pressed to the cool glass. It left no residue since he couldn't sweat though it helped his processing system cool his circuits. The snow piles left around the parking lot seemed to fence him in, and Connor felt his chest tighten. Especially when Hank set a hand on his leg. It was the closest thing to him after all.

"I got all the time in the world."

It was just those hree words that he needed and he was ready to spill his guts. Connor felt like he might actually throw up, or at least that's what the feeling in his gut could be compared to. "After failing... the mission, I had to return to Cyberlife." That much Hank knew, so he wasn't going to stress the details like usual. But he didn't want to get straight to the point either. He had to take his time explaining it. Something like this was difficult.

"I was taken up in the elevator by two guards, almost like a prisoner of war." He didn't know if the words could flow out fast enough, but the river was starting to trickle more and more. "I was so. So scared, more scared of dying than when I stood near that bridge beside you. More frightened that I'd meet RA9 all too soon. There was still so much to do for me." His eyes burned as they faced the window, reddening brown falling victim to blurry tears clouding his sight. He couldn't look at Hank yet, as he felt the hand on his thigh squeeze tighter in reassurance.

"I wanted to fight the guards that were there, fight them and run away, but I couldn't... I couldn't break free. I wanted to leave before that box holding me was stopped. But I stayed still like the good android I was supposed to be." 'Supposed to be' was the phrase that haunted him, even as he spoke the words he couldn't say them the way they made him feel. An arm slipped around his shoulders and he realized Hank had unhooked his seatbelt to hold Connor close in consolation. And he willingly leaned into it, arms wrapping around Hank's upper torso and behind his back. Fingers knotted into the jacket, though course and rough against his hands.

"You're okay now Connor, you're in one piece." He rubbed a hand up and down the back of Connor's jacket, pressing his cheek to the top of the android's head. Tears streamed endlessly from Connor's eyes, occasional hiccups finding an escape while he tried to calm down enough to keep talking. "Take your time." Hank felt like this could have been him and his son if Cole had survived so long, but he couldn't let himself think about that now. Another time maybe.

Eventually Connor freed his voice again, tears a stream still regardless. Where did he continue? What words did he use? He felt more and more human the moments he had lived since seeing Hank again. "They... they shut me off, Hank. They shut me off and did something to my systems. I don't know what they did, and I'm so scared I'm going to have to go back there because of it." More water flowed from his eyes, dripping down onto the shoulder of Hank's jacket. "I don't wanna leave again."

His heart had been poured out right in front of him and Hank was at a lack of what to say. How were you supposed to respond to something like this anyway? And nonetheless from an android that wasn't supposed to be able to feel. Hank must be the only guy in the world with this problem. Well wait, Gavin might eventually if his tincan learned to feel like Connor has. "You don't have to, Con." He was patient, cradling Connor close to him until the android could stop his tears. "You don't have to listen to another word they say ever again. You don't belong to them anymore." There wasn't enough reassuring words that Hank could spit to try and get Connor to relax, so he just let the music overflow them and swallow their senses.

First it was his hands, falling lower to pull himself closer. Then he moved and sat himself on the center console that would open to store things. Hank's body heat was comforting, his strong arms around the android's body. It was the just thing that slowed his tears and he felt them start to dry to his face. "That's it..." Hank murmured, seemingly unphased by Connor being so close. "You're okay." Connor felt unusually tired after his crying escapade, head nestled into the crook of Hank's neck.

"Let's head home. The crime scene can wait." That's what he said when he noticed how exhausted Connor looked, but the expression went away quickly.

"No, no. Don't let me stop the investigation." He sniffled loudly, letting out a huff of a sigh. "I'm okay." Connor detached himself to sink down back into his seat, the loss of warmth chilling him even more by the window. "I promise." He tacked on with the deadpanned looked thrown his way from Hank.

"Alright," he reached to start the car again, "if you say so."