Never the Same

Chapter 5

"Luca, what-" Nick tries to ask again, stepping into the bedroom.

"She's having a panic attack," Luca tells him.

"I'll get your mother."

"Is Kaylee going to be alright, daddy?" Louisa asks.

"I hope so, sweetheart. Why don't you go to your playroom and grandpa will be there soon to keep you company."

"But-" Louisa tries to protest.

"Louisa, please."

"No."

"Now!" Luca roars.

Louisa doesn't protest again, choosing to do what she's told and leave the room the same time Nick returns with Jane. Jane walks in like she's in work mode and shoos Luca away. She sits next to me and takes my free hand in hers.

"Kaylee, listen to me." She begins. I look at her. "You're having a panic attack and I need you to take deep breaths. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in and a slow breath out."

I do as she says without hesitation.

"Think of a happy place. Imagine you're there and focus on your breathing at the same time."

I think of being back home away from everything that's turning into a complete disaster here. I think of happy times with Allison who I have yet to have a proper talk with in regards to my engagement. I think of my family and all the laughs we've had. Then I think back to the day Luca came back into my life and all the good things that have happened to me since he became a part of my life again.

All the things he's planned for us that I wouldn't be able to do if it weren't for him. All the things he's shown and given me that I wouldn't have afforded to have or to do. All of the happiness he's brought back into my life and that's what sticks in my mind. People may cringe at hearing us say that we bring out the best in each other but we do. We always did and we always will. We've gone through so much and it's only made us stronger.

What is going on with Nadia will make us stronger. Nothing will be the same but I know everyone will come out the end of this fight stronger than what we were when went into it.

I'm certain of it.

I just don't know why I've let it get to me all of a sudden. I've never had a panic attack before so this is new for me. I've never let someone get so into my head that it's had me questioning everything and everyone around me. I've always been strong and it's not because I've had to be, but because I am. I've always been the one who worked hard for what I wanted and appreciated what I had when I got it.

It's just Nadia.

Everyone told me to not her get to me but I've failed. I've let her get to me so she's won. She's won and hardly did anything to do so. She was only starting with me and she's won. I let her win when I shouldn't have. I've been too focused on helping Luca keep his head straight that I didn't think of my own. I brought all of this on myself but if it were that easy, it would have happened the first day I met her.

"Kaylee," Luca's voice says softly.

I open my eyes and stare at Luca who cups the side of my face and smiles. A smile that tells me everything I need to know despite no words being said – Nadia hasn't won . . . yet.

Her ultimate prize may be Louisa but her definitive goal is Luca. She wants him but I won't let that happen. She can think everything and anything she wants but I'm not going to let her get the one thing I've gotten back in my life after wishing so hard to get back.

She's not getting the benefit of knowing that she's getting to me and she sure as hell isn't getting my fiancé.

"You're okay," Luca whispers. His thumb brushes over my cheek. "I'm here."