Panic

"Stop!"

Stress. Building. Slowly. You are finding it hard to breathe. Flashbacks come flooding into your mind. You feel trapped; you can't move. The long, icy, torturous hands surround you, forcefully holding you in place. Your left frozen; speechless; oblivious of the grinning demons in the room. All you want him to do is...

"Stop." Mrs. Moore brings you back to the hall, your breathing is heavy and there are puddles in your eyes. "Year 10, as you are coming up to your MOCKs, you become stressed and anxious about revising." This is the fourth time you've heard this speech just in different words.

Your sitting at the back so you drift to your mind and think about the dinner party your parents are holding tonight. Your glad your sitting at the back so no teachers can tell you to listen to the tiring speech for the forth time. You try not to think about him, but no matter what you think about it always goes back to him; what your going to wear tonight and what people will think of it; the couple and their son dinning with your family - what if tries to kiss you? You begin to panic and a couple of rows ahead, you see your older brother, Ray, with a rather worried expression plastered all over his face.

'Are you okay?' You manage to make out what he's mouthing from across the hall. He doesn't know. You can't tell him! He will think your weak, and unable to take care of yourself. He won't understand the pain. Drops of fear drip down your warm cheeks and your breathing picks up again. Your mind goes back to that horrifying night. Your hands start to shake uncontrollably and it's beginning to be too much for you. You shoot up standing in the silence of the assembly realising they are watching a short clip. Acting in the spare of the moment, you ran crying, escaping the building which traps you in your most unimaginable fearful nightmare - something you couldn't do before.

Not thinking about what your doing, you run towards the tennis courts, your eyes threatening to let out every tear within you scarred self. You rub your eyes to dry them, blocking your view of your path. When you remove your still shaking hands from your wet face, you are on the floor looking up at a boy a little older than you. His dark hair softly curls perfectly on to top of his head. His sharp jaw slightly open in an apologetic way for knocking you over. Two pools of an infinite galaxy are the dark brown eyes widened at your fearful body lying in front of him. You get lost in his eyes only for a second then shake your head trying to rid yourself of the craziness that got you in this situation.

"Oh my... I am so sorry I didn't see you there. I was looking for - Ah man, a-are you alright?" He offers you his hand, but refusing to take it you get up and wipe away the gravel on your hands. Still in shock, your legs become weak and can't seem to hold you up right. The unfamiliar boy catches you as you lose your balance and feeling the fear creep into you again, you push him away.

"Stop!" You let out a quiet sob and you distance yourself even more from him. His expression is concerned but a bit puzzled. Realising how upset you, he takes a step back which gives you some sense of safety.

"I'm sorry." He says in a quiet whisper. "Are you hurt? Here, let me take you to the nurse's office." As he steps closer to assist you walk, you flinch and wrap your arms around your body pulling your hands into the sleeves of your blazer and the pleasant sense of security vanishes. Taking another step back he says "I won't touch you. Just let me take you to the nurse's office to make sure your alright." You can tell by the look on his face he is trying to figure you out but he doesn't know what you've been through. You don't if he would do the same to you. "Please?" His sorry eyes beg you to allow him to take care of you. Giving in, you allow him to take care of you but you stay cautious of the distance between you and him.

When you start walking, you hear a familiar, distant voice call your name. You turn around to see that it's Ray checking to see if your alright. As soon as you see him, you try to think of an excuse as to why you ran out of assembly crying.

"How did you get out of assembly without any teachers?" Beating him to ask the question, you act like everything was okay. You hope he'll reply to your question only to be annoyed with his answering with another question.

"Don't try and put the attention on me. Jesus!What happened to your knee?" He says in shock of the monstrous hole in your tights, torn by the collision. As you look down at your leg, you notice blood on your knee.

"Oh I-I just fell." You try to dust it off but your ridiculously over protective brother turns to the boy - who's name you still don't know - and gives him a stare that places you on between the two boys. That look scares you. It's the look that Ray gives when he is about to throw a punch.

"Did you do that to her?" Ray's voice has risen and has gotten a lot deeper. You can see his hand curling up into a ball of frustration. Pushing you out the way he walks over towards the boy and starts questioning who he is. "Who are you? I haven't seen you around school before."

"My name is Tom Holland. I'm new here. I started yesterday. I didn't harm this girl, I swear. I was looking for the sixth form common room and when I turned around, we bumped into each other and she fell over. I'm taking her to the nurse's office right now." Tom's face looked worried but he didn't look scared which was unusual for Ray. He's won every fight he's gotten into. Which was a lot. He turns towards you and tensely shrugs to ask you if it's true. You slightly nod your head to confirm Tom's alibi and you see Ray physically calm down.

Ray turns back towards Tom with an almost guilty look on his proud face. "Look man, she's my sister and she was very upset earlier. I just get a little over protective at times, ya' know?"

"A little!" You start laughing and fold your arms.

"What? Your my baby sister and I don't want anything bad happening to you." As Ray justifies his point you realise the very reason why you haven't told him what happened that night was because you was afraid of what your brother just said would be what he would start to think of you - only he already does. Your grin disappears and your thoughts go back. You hide your hands in your sleeves again and don't speak.

"Anyway man," Ray turns back towards Tom. "I hope you can forgive me." You shoot your head up like a bullet, surprised at Ray's comment because he never apologises. Not normally anyway. "But!" 'And there's the pointed finger!' You think to yourself. " if I ever find that you hurt my baby sister, your a dead man. We cool?" This was typical of Ray. He is always Throwing threats around like it's confetti.

"Um.. yeah sure, man." Tom, confused about what Ray just said, nods to the direction the you two were walking in and Ray goes back to the hall.

"Uhh. The medical room is that way." You show a friendly smile and point towards the other direction.

"I knew that." Tom turns on his heal and starts walking. You stand back and think about what Ray thinks of you then quickly jog to catch up with Tom and you knew at that moment things had to change.

You can no longer feel panicked.

Author's Notes

Hey guys. This is my first piece I've ever published and I'm kinda nervous of what you guys think 😬 .

Also do you think I should carry this on?🤔

Thanks and I hope you enjoyed it.

E.C. XX