A BROKEN MIND by Peter Singh

Chapter one - I want one of those

My heart is pounding so hard, I feel it will burst out of my little chest.

I am seven or eight years old and violence has erupted again in our flat.

I love my Dad so much, but one thing separates him from what I see as the normal Dad's. He drinks too much and is an alcoholic. And when he drinks he gets violent with my Mum.

That is what he is doing now and I am two feet away to witness it all unfolding.

I have never found any words to describe what it is like to watch your Mum, who for me was my whole life, get beaten up and I can't do nothing to help but only scream and cry.

Im desperate, totally desperate. The terror I am witnessing will live with me forever. It will take away my childhood and haunt me in later years.

But I suddenly have an idea. Im young and Im really fast. Maybe I can make it to the nearest phone box and call the police, in the hope that they can end this madness.

I sneak out the back door and I run as fast as possible with my little legs and make it to the phone box. I dial 999 and the person on the other end of the phone can hear the sheer terror in my voice and the police are sent straight away to help save my Mum.

I now have to manage to run back home and sneak back in the flat without my Dad knowing what I have just done. I manage to and just as I do I can hear the sirens in the distance of the police on their way to save my Mum.

They arrive and try to restore calm and peace but it's not them who manage that.

As I look to our front door, I can see two big ears standing up and underneath them two big brown eyes, surrounded by black and beige fur. He's big, real big and he commands respect and gets it pretty quick. This black and beige bundle of fur has managed to do what humans couldn't. He has created peace and calm in our flat in an instant. He has just created what I have always longed for, as I have been witnessing violence since I was a baby.

Who is he, what is he and what's his name?

All I know at this point is that when I grow up and I am an adult I want one of them.

I want one of them because as far as I am now concerned, they create peace and calm.

That is what they stand for, and that is something I really need. I am drained, drained from feeling terrified, drained from feeling insecure and drained from the psychological damage all this violence has done to my head. Im only a kid, but Im not a normal kid. I constantly worry about what has happened and what may happen and more disturbingly I can sense that all this worry has done further damage to my mind than just the normal sensation of worry. As young as I am I realize this.

But I have just witnessed a big black and beige dog walk into our flat and create what I have always wanted. My respect and admiration is created in an instant for dogs.

As well as being a disturbed child through this violence I am also maybe a little clever too.

Clever enough to realize that what this dog just did by his presence was amazing to see and clever enough to not just realize but recognize that dogs can create, peace and calm.

So thats what Im going to do when Im big. Im going to own my very own dog.

But not just any dog. Im going to love and live with my very own creator of peace and calm. My very own German Shepherd.