Chapter 5

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AN: This was a difficult one. Because of the difficult topic, I avoided writing it for weeks. I felt like I had gone into writers block, but seems like I was just afraid to tackle this subject. I didn't make it explicit but just enough to know what happened. Hope you guys appreciate my attempt.  

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The two brothers didn't realize how long the two had remained like that. It was nearly dusk when the two boys decided they were hungry and must have the food they brought with them. The noodles were cold and the egg rolls were soggy but considering the two had barely eaten anything and their stomachs were growling, the food went down smoothly. They didn't speak much, although Tum wanted to push for more information. They devoured the food barely talking to each other and when they were satisfied the brothers enjoyed the calm and clean pink evening glow that could ever be seen in the rush and pollution of the cities. Tum was holding his brother close by the shoulder, just enjoying the feeling of his head on the shoulder, when Tar spoke softly.

"I know I should tell you.. But I am so afraid Pii..afraid that you might be disgusted with me.."

Tum stiffened listening to his baby brother's painful voice. How could Tar even think like that? All his life, Tum had only had Tar in his life..everything he did, it was for Tar's happiness. But this? Tar thought Tum would abandon him? How? Why? Tum couldn't believe what he was hearing. After everything, Tar still didn't trust his Pii.. The revelation was like a stab at Tum's heart. He didn't mean to be harsh, but he couldn't help the anger bubbling up within him. He roughly forced Tar to face him and held his chin tightly so the younger boy could meet his gaze.

"You don't trust your Pii? N'Tar..how can you even.."

"Pii!! No. Tar trusts you the most! You are the only one. But..but.." Tar shook his head as he furiously denied his brother's implications. His eyes once again were brimming with tears and so Tum pulled him in a loving hug.

Tum caressed his nong's soft hair, "Tar, tell Pii everything, please. Pii promises to not leave you ever, ever Tar. Please..believe me, nothing you tell me will make me run away from you. Whatever happened, Pii will help you heal, I promise." Tum smiled gently as he felt Tar let out a soft sigh and nod against his heart.

After what seemed like ages, Tar sighed and finally pulled away from his brother, wiping his eyes clear on his sleeve. Tum waited patiently as he knew Tar was preparing himself to open up. Tar's eyes seemed empty as he stared into the sky, a far-away look in his eyes. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Pii..you know, P'Tharn mentored me and how I had a little crush on him?" Tum nodded. "But what you don't know, is that P'Tharn never did anything wrong.." Tar stopped a moment as he could see his brother's eyes glow with anger. The younger man gripped the other's writ, "No, please, wait. Hear me out first, ok Pii?" Tum looked at their connected hands and back at Tar. He nodded after a moment and Tar sighed before continuing.

"P'Tharn never hid from me or anyone that there was something between him and P'Type. They were not actually together then or even dating, but it was clear they were heading that way. My friends teased me about my crush but they too cared about me and warned me against getting involved too much. It was two or three months since P'Tharn became my mentor..It was the time you went to that month long music camp, remember?"

Tum snorted. How could he forget? It was the camp that changed everything. It was the camp that led to him losing his brother, his love. The older sibling couldn't remember how many times he had regretted going to that camp, leaving his baby brother alone. If only he had not gone..he would have prevented Tar from going through whatever it was. He wanted to punch someone, beat himself up ...do something for not being there for his brother.

Tar noticed the look on his older brother's face and realized that his brother was blaming himself. Tar took Tum's hands in his, "Pii...it was not your fault. Pii, I know you feel guilty for leaving me, but really that camp was your way into the music academy, a path to achieve your dream.."

Tum clutched his younger brother's hands tightly, "Tar..don't you get it? If you are not with me, no dream of mine means anything!. You are the only one for whom I wake up in the morning. When you are away, I can't breathe. That camp, my dream to get into the academy...it is all just for you, so I can have to means to give you everything that you want and deserve! There is no one else.."

"Pii.."

Tum took a deep breath, "Sorry. Please nong, continue."

Tar sighed and closed his eyes. "So, one day I met P'Tharn and he seemed really down and sad. Apparently he and P'Type had a fight and P'Type had been ignoring him. This went on for days. I thought I should talk to P'Type but that didn't help at all. It seemed that both of them were miserable. When their squabble went on nearly three weeks, all of us, P'Type's and P'Tharn's friends decided to intervene. While all this was going on you left for your camp and what you don't know is that an older student with his friend started bullying me. P'Tharn noticed something off with me but he had his problems and maybe that's why he didn't push me to find out."

Tum was shocked. He never knew Tar was being bullied. Tar had a few friends in high-school and they all were protective of Tar. So, Tum had assumed that Tar was safe but this development was something heart wrenching.

"N'Tar! You should have called me! I would have come back instantly. Why did you not tell anyone, your friends..no one, why?"

"Pii..please calm down. P'Tharn did find out and he confronted the two boys, threatened them. So I didn't see the boys for next three days. It was Friday evening, when we and decided to stealthily arrange for P'Type and P'Tharn to meet so they could talk and resolve their issues. I was so excited for them. I wanted to know if our plan had worked..I was stupid! Stupid! I couldn't take the curiosity! It was already dark, but I knew where the two Piis were going to meet so I rode my bike there and spied on them. It looked like they were making progress and I was happy. I thought it was good time to leave them alone now, so I started riding back..Pii..I.."

Tar's voice suddenly broke and his eyes welled up with tears. He looked at his Pii with so much pain that it clenched Tum's heart. Tum felt physical pain as he realized that his baby brother was hurt so bad. The older sibling suddenly pulled Tar into his arms embracing him, stroking him..

"Baby, it's okay. It's ok. Just let it out my love..How could you suffer this alone..? Why? .." It felt like hours before Tar calmed and backed away so he could continue.

In between small sobs, Tar said, "They ambushed me. The two bullies and two of his other friends. They hit me and ..and threw my bike away. Then two of them held me while slapping me and the two bullies....they...they..Pii"

Tum's heart clenched harder and he didn't even realize he was crying. He hugged his baby close again..dreading at what the two boys had done to his innocent brother. He hoped his fears would not come true..

"Tar, how many of them..?"

Tar mumbled against his chest, "Three.."

"They touched...you.." Tar nodded and Tum swallowed.

"And ..and they..they, Tar ..baby.." Tar nodded once again and started struggling against his brother's hug. He was sobbing and kicking his feet aggressively. Tum held on tightly murmuring soothing words of comfort.

It was after a longtime that Tum felt Tar calm down. He kept on holding his brother and felt hislittle brother eventually drift of to sleep. The exhaustion of the entire dayand the recalling the traumatic events was evident. Tum gently picked up hisbrother and took him inside. He lay him on the couch chair and then went todust off the bed as well as he could. Later on, Tum laid Tar on the bed andtook off his shoes and trousers. They didn't have anything to cover themselvesup, but luckily it was a warm night. Tum laid down beside Tar and held theyounger one all night long.    

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