TOKKI CLUB ~ UNREQUITED

Chapter 6

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In the early hours of the next morning after a forced breakfast I had myself eyes closed, laying by the poolside of the hotel's indoor facility. In the jumble of my thoughts there was Seung-Ho in all of his glorious ambiguity.

He was like a big question mark at times. Pretty much all the time really.

I sighed. If Seung-Ho didn't hide parts of himself from the others, this would be less difficult for me. At the times that I was at a loss for words and had no idea of what to do, maybe then they could step in and fill in some of the gaps.

It was during that train of thought that one very important question came across my mind; why has he not told So-Hee about his parents yet? Were they not at that stage of their relationship yet? I crossed my legs and mulled over it some more. Perhaps he didn't want So-Hee to see that side of him afraid he might look weak. If that was the case, then that would be pretty stupid.

My mother always said that pretending to be strong in the face of love was a poisonous decision. One that would eat you from the insides until it seeped out, rotted and destroyed whatever relationship you had.

Quite a horrible thought actually, but it spoke to me nevertheless.

I scrunched up my nose. I was thinking about this- him, more than I needed to.

From the corner of my eye I saw Myung-Soo walk in. He didn't say anything, but simply jumped into the pool and started swimming.

After six laps – I counted –he approached the edge of the pool and flashed me a smile.

"Nice." I noted with a nod.

"You're not getting in?"

"Maybe later." It was kind of pointless coming just laying here in my swimsuit, but I felt like I needed to be elsewhere besides the hotel room. My fingers glossed over my phone, and I changed my mind. Maybe the water will help clear my mind. "I will actually." I quickly jumped in, letting my body get used to the temperature before allowing myself to move freely in the water.

He jumped out of the water and walked towards a bag that I hadn't even noticed he brought in. He pulled out his polaroid camera, suggesting that we take a picture for memories and I agreed. The photo printed out, showing me holding a v sign and Myung-Soo sticking out his tongue. I had to admit, for the state we were both in this morning it came out pretty well.

"What's been up with you since last night?" He asked getting back into the pool. It was about time he asked. He'd noticed my shift in mood last night but chose not to press with the occasional 'are you okay?'.

"I'm fine, but... Myung-Soo-yah, what do you do if someone you care about isn't happy?"

"Why? Are you not happy?"

I shook my head and told him I was just speaking generally.

"Try and cheer them up?"

I sighed, it wasn't that simple and even Myung-Soo knew that by the way he puffed his cheeks. "Any other options?"

"If that person lets you just be there for them. Like me, I usually go to you guys for help." So he did, but Myung-Soo wasn't the type to broadcast his problems either. He had worries and insecurities just like everyone else, but there were probably only a handful of times that he spoke to the whole group about any of them. When it was just the two of us, we were able to share our thoughts and have a fruitful conversation, but I don't remember helping him reach a solution.

Just like the other day with Ji-Soo, I couldn't even do anything substantial to help him with his worries about the piano. Thinking about how all I have been doing is comforting my friends uselessly, I started to feel even more rubbish. Was I really that much of a bad friend.