Rags Meets Riches [Lashton AU]

Chapter 30

Suddenly I spotted two familiar people in the waiting room, one with lilac hair and the other holding him. They noticed me walking over and I was shocked seeing their eyes red- rimmed, faces holding guilt and sadness.

"Is he okay? Did they say anything?" I asked quietly, feeling weird talking to them but this is

for Luke. Luke who needs to be okay, because if he isn't then there's no reason for the world to exist. He is my world, I need him here with me and I can't imagine him gone.

Calum shrugged sadly, saying with a croaky voice,"He's in surgery. He wasn't wearing a helmet, they don't...they can't promise anything."

"Oh god, this is all my fault," I realized, slowly sitting in the sit and buried my face in my jacket covered hands. The jacket smelling like Luke and making my heart break more and more, cause I did this to him.

Michael hesitated before asking,"How?"

"That stupid helmet. H-He shouldn't have left it for me, he should have worn it. He said it was mine, but no. It was ours and he needed to wear it! Now he is in surgery and I can't..." I sniffled, rubbing my eyes frantically. God, Luke why didn't you just wear the stupid helmet?

"Ashton, it's his own fault," Michael told me quietly, shockingly placing a hand on my shoulder and assured,"He'll be fine. He's Luke, he's done so many stupid things in his life and he made it this far. I don't think he can leave us even if he wanted to."

I nodded, smiling sadly and noticed Calum not saying anything. He just sat there looking down and I sighed, shaking my knee slightly in anticipation, just wanting to see him. I clenched the key chain that matched his necklace in my hand, it hooked onto the jacket, and waited impatiently.

-"We did all we could, but it wasn't enough."

The words passed through one ear and out the other. Tears were streaming down my face, never stopping and I bit my lip, holding in a sob and shook my head frantically at the man giving us sympathetic looks.

I blocked out everything. Ignoring how Michael was sobbing in Calum's chest, hitting him weakly and Calum holding him close while looking as though he was holding back his own tears, seeming unsure of how to react.

"Y-You're lying, he's not..." I trailed off, voice going weak when he gave me a sad smile. I can't believe him, I won't. He's lying, they all are. Luke's alive, he wouldn't leave me like this. We have so much left to do. So many places to go, we didn't even get to go to Paris together and live together.

He's so young.

The doctor walked over, saying sadly,"He was wearing this and I thought I would give it to you, I'm sorry about your loss."

My heart shattered more when seeing it was the necklace I gave him. I nodded frantically, pain filling me when noticing the slight chip on the corner of it, the infinity sign wasn't there and it made everything feel more real than I wanted it to.

Calum suddenly got up, rushing to a wall and punched it, causing everyone to stare and I watched as Michael walked over, placing a shaky hand on his boyfriend's shoulder,"Babe, p-please just-"

"No! Mikey, he can't-he's suppose to be alive. He can't be gone, he's so young and he didn't deserve this. I didn't e-even get to apologize," Calum leaned his head on the wall, clenching his fists as hot tears streamed down his face.

I sat where I was, not listening to anyone. I held the necklace in my hand, then got up and Michael watched me in confusion with damp cheeks,"Ashton, where are you going?"

"Home," I said blankly, throat burning slightly with the lump in my throat. I needed to go, I couldn't stay. I can't be in the place where Luke was. Still is. It hurt too much, everything was hurting and I can't be here.

He shook his head, telling me,"You can stay with us. You shouldn't be alone. Please, I know we're not on good terms but you need someone..."

"I gotta go," I mumbled, shoving the door open and let the cold air of January hit me. The truth was more seen now. Luke and I will never spend Valentines day together, we would never celebrate our birthdays together and never have a one year anniversary.

I walked down the street, ignoring the strange looks of people walking passed me. I ignored everything, I had to. My heart was breaking with each step I took away from the hospital, a step further away from Luke, who wasn't even breathing anymore.

I glanced up at the sky, wondering if he was there. I doubt it. He has done horrible things, and I didn't even know if he believed in heaven. Probably not. A sad smile formed when seeing the store we always went to, stealing skittles and eating them like 5 year olds. We would never do that again, I could never see his laughing expression and that beautiful smile that could brighten anyone's day.

One step closer to home.

We'd never sing A Thousand Years together, our song that made me fall for him. That made my knees go weak at his gorgeous voice, where we almost kissed. A sob left me, seeing the crowd of people still at the accident, my eyes looking at the broken motorcycle.

The motorcycle that took us places I never knew existed.

I turned down the alley, walking briskly to my house and typed in the pass code, rushing inside the house and right into my father, who looked at me in anger,"Where the hell were you? Emma said you were sleeping, but you were not!"

I couldn't handle this right now, I really couldn't. I shook my head frantically, trying to walk passed him and he gripped my arm, pulling me back in front of him and sneered,"Where were you? With that punk boy, huh?"

"Please, jus-just-"

"You were with him!" My mum shouted next to my father accusingly, my eyes watering more and more as they kept bringing him up, cause no. I can't keep thinking about this right now, them talking as if he's living, cause he's not.

"He's dead! He died, he's not even-he's dead, dead, dead," I said hysterically, tears pouring out once again and I didn't even care anymore, it didn't matter that I shouted at them. "Are you happy? He's not here, he can't get me into trouble anymore! So shut up and leave me alone, cause the one person that actually makes me happy is gone!"

When they didn't say anything, I stormed upstairs passed a shocked and angered looking Emma, right to my room and slammed the door shut, tossing my bag that was on my back on the bed, opening it while crying silently and shakily grabbed the CD he gave me, putting it in and turned it to a song before laying on my bed.

I could hear Emma shouting at my parents, but nothing could be louder than my sobs and the sound of music drowning them out,"And I remember all those crazy things you said. You left them running through my head. You're always there, you're everywhere, but right now I wish you were here. All those crazy things we did, didn't think about it, just went with it. You're always there, you're everywhere, but right now I wish you were here."

Luke's words kept running through my head, 'You can't live in fear forever, cause in the end we regret the chances we didn't take.'

He said that to me right before we jumped off that cliff. He was always about living in the moment, it's as if he knew one day his life would be taken. He was so carefree and living each day as if it's his last. And today was his last.

'We did all we could, but it wasn't enough.'

"Damn, Damn, Damn, what I'd do to have you. Here, here, here. I wish you were here. Damn, Damn, Damn, What I'd do to have you. Near, near, near. I wish you were here," My speakers sang loudly, Avril Lavigne's passion in her words making it hurt more and more. He said she was his favorite female singer, saying her music was always relatable.

And sadly, it is at this moment.

I snuggled into the jacket, sniffling and sobbing and crying and just hurting. Nothing hurt more than this, having someone ripped out of your life without a warning and I guess sometimes things weren't meant to be. No one wanted us together, and Luke died just to have that proven.

And I just really miss him, though it's only been a few hours it felt like years. I was crying so hard I could hardly breath, my throat burning and eyes stinging from the salty tears that wouldn't stop as I replayed his voicemail just to hear his voice.

I love him. I love him, and I will for a thousand years.

If I can even make it that long without him.