We Started Out Like a Song | Seaycee Short Stories

Morning After

Warning: Strong language, alcohol.

*****************************

I was never the type to enjoy chaos, so house parties were never really my thing.

But when your best friends want to throw you one for your 21st birthday, I thought it was time to make an exception and say, fuck it.

*****

"You do the same damn thing every day, Lew: You wake up at 8am on the fucking nose. You go for your morning jog, listening to the same songs in the same exact order, running the same route. You get home and you make yourself some oatmeal, sometimes some scrambled eggs if you're still hungry. Then you have some down time before heading into the studio to either teach or take class until it's time to go home." Josh rambles on, beer in hand.

"And then you have a beer with us." Julian adds.

I quietly listen, sipping on my beer, and it hits me just how unremarkable and ordinary my life has become. I know I've been stuck in a rut for some time now but damn, they knew why. "So what do you think I should do about it?"

Julian slaps me gently on the back. "You're finally turning 21! Let's throw a party here! That'll change things up for you."

I scoff and roll my eyes. "What's the big deal? I've been drinking since we were 18. Hell, we're drinking right now."

Josh levels with me. "Since you were 17, you've always been mature... for the most part. You've never been reckless about anything, always overthinking and overanalyzing every situation; so much so, that you tend to self-sabotage. Look what happened last year."

I flinch without even realizing.

"All we're saying is that we want you to enjoy your youth. We want you to have fun. Let us throw you a fucking party and just go with the flow for once. We promise you that you'll have a good time once you turn off your brain for just one night." Julian says.

I let out a sigh and nod slowly in agreement before taking another swig of my beer. "Alright then. What have I got to lose?" Absolutely nothing.

*****

I tried my best to help plan it along with them, but Josh and Julian didn't let me have a say in anything.

"If we let you in on the planning, you're going to start spiraling downwards and start overthinking again. We got this, dude! Don't worry!" They would repeatedly say to me.

I would just laugh it off but on the inside, I was anxious as hell. There's a reason why everything has a place and why I have a routine. Nowadays, if I find that life gets too messy for me, I'm able to fix it by putting things back in to place. I can fix things now.

I've learned that there is a sense of security in the nonchalant, in the lives of those who choose to live monotonously - it's why they tell people diagnosed with clinical depression to have a set routine. Now, I'm not saying I'm depressed but this past year hasn't exactly been a high point in my life.

The week has been filled with Julian and Josh hectically going out on alcohol runs, cleaning, decorating, fucking Pinteresting, and more alcohol runs.

This afternoon is the calm before the storm - the few hours before the party begins. The amount of beer and liquor that are in our home and outside by the pool sets off an internal panic alarm in me. "Just how many people did you guys invite?"

"Well..." Josh begins, a sheepish grin on his face. "It started with the usual crew. But then as the word spread, it kind of became a whole thing. But I don't care. I want to go all out for your birthday, man!"