From Zero to a Hundred (HYUNGWONHO)

Chapter 2: 100%

"Has Changkyun said anything about Hoseok doing the same? Like, has he been bailing on them or acting sketchy?" Inquires Minhyuk.

"I don't know. From what he says, Hoseok's usually meeting up with other people for dates and stuff anyway, so it's not anything new."

The three of us go over a particularly bad pothole, and the car bounces with great force. My eyes water as the nausea in my throat develops into a worsened sensation of deep dread. Even if it kills me, I am not going to yack in Minhyuk's car. With boisterous laughter, Minhyuk says, "I wonder what that would look like."

"What?"

"Hyungwon having sex with Hoseok. Like, do you think Hyungwon would..."

"Take it? Probably." They erupt into such loud laughter, my ears beginning to ring. "Wait, wait, but Hyungwon is taller."

"So what? Hoseok is so macho and buff, he would probably never take it. Not to mention have you seen Hyungwon as Dodo at last year's Halloween party?"

"Ahh, you're right. Hyungwon's too awkward - it makes me cringe a little."

"Right!?" Minhyuk has reached dolphin levels of pitch. He's practically ultrasonic. "Our handsome awkward turtle trying to roll on a condom is so cringey."

"Our handsome awkward turtle." I force my eyes open every so slightly, just barely enough to make out Jooheon's blurred figured turned in his seat to glance at me. "Sleep well, Hyungwon-ie. We love you, our handsome awkward turtle, even if you are literally the definition of cringe."

"We'll always love you and your cringey self." Shouts Minhyuk.

I feel as much love and care as I feel insulted.

But, more than anything, if Minhyuk doesn't stop driving one hundred kilometres an hour, I feel like I might actually vomit.

Saturday, 22:59

This night is a mess, but at least Minhyuk gave me a spare toothbrush and as much mouthwash as my heart desired the moment we returned with enough red solo cups and a big enough catastrophe to last a lifetime.

To start off, I really shouldn't have allowed Jooheon to persuade me it would be fun to let him do body shots off my stomach. Especially this early in the night. He does this weird thing where he'll act cute and, while it makes me cringe at how shameless and embarrassing he is capable of being, I'm always won over by his confidence and sheer determination; how could I fault my best friend for being so damn convincing?

Truth be told, Minhyuk's coffee table is somehow even less comfortable than it looks, and the throw cushion offered to me for my head does nothing but bend my neck at a terribly disturbed angle. Pick Me is being played so boisterously on the speakers behind me, I'm already certain some level of permanent hearing damage has occurred within the last few minutes. Suddenly, everyone begins hopping and stomping their feet to the chorus, and the strength at which the floor initially trembles nearly knocks me off the table.

"Dude, this is so stupid. Can't you do one off someone else?" I protest loudly. Ironically enough, I still straighten the empty shot-glass over top my belly button with more seriousness than my voice would imply. Jooheon giggles as he tries to pour what appears to be whiskey into the shot glass. "Jooheon, you're spilling alcohol all over me. Can you not?"

"Hyungwon, chill . The night has to start somewhere."

"Okay, I get that. But why does it have to start on my stomach?"