Sometimes I think I just can't wait to leave, just to have my own place away from you away from the memories. I know you don't mean to hurt me but you do I know you think that we just need to toughen up and sometimes I think that too but every time you shout at me or raise your hand to hit or even when you hit me not aggressively but just to discipline me it hurts.it makes me feel as if we are back with him and he's shouting at us again and you don't know what to do all you know is that you want it to stop and you want to leave and never come back and never have to face it again. Sometimes , sometimes that's how you make me feel and you don't do it on purpose but it still happens, and sometimes I regret coming out to you I wanted to do it because I love and trust you and I wanted to know this important thing about me but you just rejected it and ignored it and I'm not saying I should label myself but I don't want to feel awkward every time I say partner instead of boyfriend or husband when really I want to say girlfriend or wife, but I do. I want to leave because then I won't have to feel like that anymore I'll be able to bring my friends over and we'll be able to openly talk about people we like I'll be able to not pretend like my friend isn't transgender I'll be able to be me instead of being someone you want me to be. I'll be able to go to the doctors and get the treatment that I actually need instead of struggling silently because
You just don't want to accept the fact that there is something wrong with me,that I have anxiety, that I need antidepressants that sometimes I think that I should just jump off a bridge or swallow some pills .that sometimes it hurts more for me not to have a cuts on my body than to have them. So one day I'll leave one day I'll get away from it all and I can just be me,but until then I'll have to just wait I'll have to just live.
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A/N
This one is quite messy because I was just in the moment. I swear when I write this on notes it looks so long and I'm like yeah some quality content right here so many words and then I paste it here and it's like nah.
YOU ARE READING
Midnight Murders
RandomA collection of short stories that are taken from real experiences of mental health issues from suicide, murder, sociopathy and self harm TRIGGER WARNINGS . ( not all stories are takin from real experiences Such as ones centred around murder)
