MAD HATTER. haitani rindou

O26 - ending

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‍ ‍ ‍i spent sleepless nights contemplating what was happening. what did the future hold for me? was my entire existence merely a game of fate? it was not until recently that the thought of such a thing crossed my mind. a feeling of despair overwhelmed me each time, and the loneliness i felt grew more intense each day. how could the universe play such an intricate trick on me and put me through hell all in just a night? what kind of sick twisted game was this? why was i here, in this dark, sterile room, suffering so much while others lived lives that were much brighter and fuller than mine, and had much more purpose than i had? the questions swirled round in my brain, and sometimes i felt suffocated by the pressure from all the unanswered questions plaguing me. it all made no sense, none of it.

‍ ‍ ‍it had been a week since the incident happened yet, i could still hear the echoes of my cries bouncing around my brain and making me wonder. my throat tightened every time i tried to swallow, even when i didn't need to, my stomach churning uncomfortably. my heart pounded loudly every time i got close to sleep. my fingers trembled violently whenever i closed my eyes, as if expecting a sudden rush of pain. my nightmares were vivid, and i often woke up screaming from images i couldn't quite remember, or even if they happened at all. i could feel panic rising within me, and knew that my fear was well justified.

‍ ‍ ‍"tell me, why do you collect a lot of hyacinth flowers?" a voice spoke from behind, bringing me out of my dazed thoughts. my breathing became shallow as i turned to face the female who suddenly broke into my thoughts. something about her reminded me of a spider, watching its prey carefully, waiting for the moment it moves in order to strike. i could tell it was she who i feared.

‍ ‍ ‍"what business does that have with you?" my eyes narrowed slightly, glaring at her distrustfully. i couldn't help but wonder if she was part of this twisted game. after all, the universe had orchestrated this whole ordeal, so why would she interfere if she wasn't going to play a role in it? my eyes softened slightly as i realized that was an unrealistic assumption.

‍ ‍ ‍"i'm curious!"

‍ ‍ ‍"blue hyacinths signifies three meanings. one is regret, two is sincerity and three is constancy. these three meanings correspond roughly to the emotions i am currently experiencing. my current feelings are... mixed," i replied simply, turning away from her, facing the window once more. i stared up at the night sky, tracing the shapes on the clouds, admiring the patterns of stars littering the heavens above. it brought me comfort, in the midst of my anxiety over how i was going to survive another few days.

‍ ‍ ‍"you're really interesting, you make this very hard to read." her lips stretched into a sly smile, revealing her sharp canines. "i mean, i've known many fascinating people throughout my life, but your story is intriguing itself. i have a million questions i want to ask you, but i think i'd rather hear from you than ask you questions. it's not often i get to talk to a person who isn't a therapist or psychiatrist, afterall."

‍ ‍ ‍"and you, on the other hand, are very strange."

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‍ ‍ ‍"he's awake." the female next to me announced, as my gaze shot upward. his purple eyes shone with excitement, his gaze focused intently on the young man lying motionlessly in the hospital bed. the medical equipment surrounding the bed and his monitors told me everything i needed to know. rindou was alive, albeit unconscious for a whole lot of week. it took all the doctors in the hospital to save him. he lost too much blood, too much damage to the organs, and they had done all they could. the doctor said his chances of survival were slim to none, and the span of his life were shortened. "i'll be heading outside to let you bond together in private, bye!"