Moving On

Can't can't can't

My face flushed. Worry surged through my body like a super-charged tsunami. 'I'm not single! I've got Zac! He knows that! He can't!' I thought.

Suddenly something caught my eye - a new message I did not notice. From Zac. I tapped it and read it through:

"Emma.... this is so hard.... but I can't do this any more. We haven't talked in so long! And we see each other for 11 hours each day!" I wanted to scream. I couldn't continue, and yet I did. " what I'm trying to say is, our time has come. I love you with all my heart and I would explode the universe for you, but I just can't make you happy enough." by now tears were streaming down my face. He was wrong; he made me perfectly happy! I kept reading. " I love you and I'll still be there. As a friend. I love you and hope I didn't break your heart. I know I broke mine." just about the sweetest break up ever, right? Ha. No. I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed for a good hour.

After I had run out of tears, I replied to marks text.

"I like you too." it's true, i did. I had liked him since a day or two ago. I could feel Zac and my end nearing. "But I need to wait a while before dating again."

"okay, I understand. <3"

I smiled at his text. And then everything started falling, and I sprung up into a sitting position in my bed.

So it turns out I had only dreamed Mark liking me. But not Zac breaking up. That I had somehow read in my sleep.

For weeks afterwards I sat there liking Mark, wondering if he likes me.

Monday afternoon three weeks after Zac left me, I typed into my send box what I would say to Mark.

"Mark, I need to tell you my biggest secret. I have a crush on you." I looked at it and fear crept up my spine. A surge of courage flooded through my veins, and I hit the send button. No reply.