you felt rindou's presence close to you immediately and his hand rested on your upper arm. you stiffened slightly at the touch but relaxed once rindou started caressing your wrist, lightly moving his thumb across your skin. "i don't think i have any tears left, but if i did, i would definitely shed those." he replied calmly and softly, looking you directly in the eye. you noticed that he didn't move his hand away, so you kept it there. the warmth radiating off of his palm was soothing. he smelled faintly like vanilla, the scent comforting. it reminded you of summer nights and the sound of the waves hitting against the sandy shore. his skin was warm, and the slight contact sent tingling sensations throughout your entire body. you felt calmer and less stressed when holding his hand. "however, a lot of things are bothering me that i couldn't even sleep in peace. i can't stop thinking about everything, and i need answers." the sun had disappeared completely beneath the horizon now, darkness engulfing the sky and giving birth to a layer of stars. the moon shone brightly as well, casting a silvery light upon your two figures. it was silent. the city had calmed down considerably since noon, people having gone home and the street lights shining bright overhead. everything was peaceful.
you didn't expect such a direct response from him but you also felt that he needed to talk about whatever was weighing his heart down, regardless of how personal it may be. there were still questions lingering in your head, but they were drowned under the tsunami of other emotions. "if you could go back in time, what are you going to do?"
"save everyone from danger. i guess i'll save every single person that has ever been hurt because of my actions," there were traces of bitterness lingering in his voice but then they dissipated quickly as he continued. "including you... even if it means of leaving you alone." he spoke quietly, voice barely above a whisper but there was an undeniable determination that lingered in his tone as he added these last few words, making you tense momentarily.
you could tell that he was serious. however, he looked so vulnerable. he didn't seem as strong and confident as he normally was. it seemed like the pain of seeing his friend suffering had affected him deeply. you wondered how long he had hidden his own sadness behind a mask of indifference. the pain in his eyes when he had locked gazes with yours, made you feel guilty as your heart broke a little. it seemed like he was holding himself together with a thin layer of strength. "but friends never abandon each other."
"y/n, do you see me as your friend?"
"why else would i be here?" you asked, your brows furrowing in confusion.
"would it be too much if i said i wanted to save you from sanzu, from everything? that i want you to live a normal life with the others? would it be too selfish of me to ask you to love me instead? will it break me if you refuse? please... don't make me lose you... please, don't love someone else and be patient with me. just stay by my side." rindou sounded desperate, pleading, as he stared intently at you. gone was the sad, all that's left was surprise. there was so many thoughts running wild through your mind right now. it was difficult to choose one to focus on. you had always thought that you had feelings for him, but you never really allowed yourself to acknowledge them.
that was until now.
a part of you wanted to reject him immediately after hearing what he said, but another part of you wanted to give him hope and to prove him wrong somehow, even though all this was probably pointless and futile. the latter, in turn, was stronger. you sighed, closing your eyes and clenching your fist in frustration as you tried to think of a suitable answer. the problem is; it seemed like there was no right reply to it. everything seemed so complex. you were scared to upset him.
"i don't want to force you to decide something you already know the answer too, y/n. i don't want to be selfish and pressure you in case you're going to change your mind later."
YOU ARE READING
MAD HATTER. haitani rindou
Fanfiction── MAD HATTER life is ravished by fairytales' lies; vivid events stiffened our souls, bent our minds, and falsified our hearts with the illusion of love. yet love was a mad raging flame of dilemma. a plight deed happened, and the...
