Saurians - The day of the beast

20 - Childhood traumas

Since then he was marked as "the one who pisses with fear", being the object of the jokes and jokes of a group of small ruffians who delighted in making him suffer, since then he avoided every subject that had to do with the Saurians, to avoid repeating the incident that loosened his sphincter, so despite his excellent physical condition, intelligence and strength, he was never part of the nomad warriors and did not make the "journey of truth" when he was old enough for that, but in reality not all young people did, Krull was one of the few permanent members of the group of sentinels who had not made the journey of truth, although he was not the only one, so it was not a matter of discussion whether he belonged to the select squadron of sentinels and despite the doubts that had always consumed him, he had amply demonstrated his capacity.

Although he grew up, he became agile, tall and strong, deep down he did not feel confident that he could have enough to be a sentry and he thought he could be a collector or helper when it was his turn to assume his Raleg as a defender of Bast, but it was thanks to the support, influence and pressure that Koba gave him, that he decided to be part of the sentry corps, he really had the physical and mental qualities to be one of the best warriors, so he received the training of survival, fight, tracking, he learned the use of swords, bows, spears and fulfilling all the demands he managed to form part of the select body of sentries full time, with time his mishap faded in the mists of the past and he was forgetting a little the embarrassing episode of his childhood, even he had almost forgotten all that since in any case in the Bast had never seen a saurian.

In the collective mind of the village he had really forgotten his shameful episode as a child and Krull performed very well in his work as a sentinel of Bast, as we already mentioned, for many years had not had any sighting of Saurians and there were no records that recorded any encounter with their enemies in past times, the isolation of the mountains was such that it was already part of the general perception to think that such a threat was really unlikely.

Only the older ones and those who had made their "journey of truth" maintained a certain reserve about feeling fully confident, because in the case of the older ones the age brings with it a more realistic appreciation of their situation and this led them to consider that at any moment they would approach these lands, for the young people who had survived the Journey of Truth, first-hand contact with the fearsome Saurians had made them aware of the true danger they posed and that given their enormous number and mobility, sooner or later they would find them, but that "sooner or later" fell into the category of things that may happen but that in fact had never happened, such as the bride of the light-giver will one day fall to earth, who will kill us a hammer of light in some storm, the mountain will one day wake up vomiting a river of stones of fire.

Krull, for his part, really enjoyed his functions as a sentinel in the defense of the first Bast and as almost everyone in the mountain, considered that they were safe there, it never crossed his mind that would come "The day of the beast", which was as they designated the dreaded moment when they would be discovered and attacked by the Saurians in the mountain and almost immediately attacked by all the nearby hordes until their annihilation, in reality no one was fully prepared for that event, nor did they see with all due seriousness the possibility that it would happen and suddenly face the almost unavoidable certainty that that dreaded day would really come to them, I had them all really scared, because they had always seen the Saurians as something distant, intangible, impossible, the fear that Krull felt was actually a small reflection of the terror that others felt.

Since his incident as a child had not got wet with fear again and this time repeated everything, paralysis, uncontrollable urination, shame, fear, with the difference that this time he was alone, there was no audience to embarrass him, but anyway the incident left him submerged in a sea of doubts, doubts about his ability to resist fear, about the courage to fight body to body against the Saurians if the day of the beast reached the Bast, fortunately nobody would notice this second episode, but nothing guaranteed him what would happen if the final confrontation was inevitable.

- What am I going to do if they come and get in?

He thought afflictively, because he did not think it possible that he could fight them, he was sure that when he saw a beast run towards him, he would simply be paralyzed from fear, he would urinate and he would be dismembered even by the smallest and most miserable of the Saurians in front of him, he would simply let himself be killed without further ado.

- How will I defend the Bast?

This thought afflicted him even more than his own safety, for he would fail in his Raleg, defending the Bast was what everyone was preparing for and was the main motive of their lives, but in most he was a secondary Raleg since his main Raleg was some activity in the tribe, but in his case he was the only Raleg who had to be a dedicated sentinel, if he remained as a sand statue before the Saurians, his contribution to the defense of Bast would be nothing and in the end it would only be a waste, a waste of life, of the food they prepared for him, of the time that Koba took to train him, of the trust that everyone had in him.

And he sat at the battlement with his quiver and his bow on one side, clinging desperately to the horn with both hands, as if it were to fall and that horn was his only grip and salvation, he remained ruminating his deepest doubts and fears, which possibly would soon be a horrendous reality, he had only hope that the work of the entire Bast to conceal the real cause of death of an entire group of Saurian scouts would be effective enough to convince the horde to withdraw without further inquiry, but at this point not even that comforted him.