1) Insult: You fail!
Comeback: So did your dad's condom.
2) Insult: Fail.
Comeback: I didn't ask for your life story.
3) You have your whole life to be annoying... So why why not take a break?
4) If you're talking behind my back, that means my life is more interesting than yours.
5) I didn't fall, the floor needed a hug.
