Trapped

I ran my hands down my thigh,stood up, and walked away.
   "Don't walk away from me," I screamed. Words spitting out of my mouth. "Did you cheat on me?" My voice breaking with every syllable.

He turned. His face expressionless and long. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please. Do not lie to me right now. You've been distant. You've been cold. You have been avoiding me," my eyes were now full of tears and rage.

"You're crazy. I'm busy that's all. How am I supposed to provide for you if I don't leave your side? I want you to stay here with me."

"This is so typical. You have always made me look crazy for having suspicion. I am fed up. I am not asking you to be by my side all day. I simply want your attention and some affection. Why is it so hard to get these things from you?"

"I'm done talking about this."

"Stop walking away from me, Alejandro."

He turned to look at me fierclessly. Next thing I know, my lips were pressed against his and we were kissing hard. This kiss took my breath away.

"Fucid,"That wk," she saas good." Her hair tangled,swaying all over the place. The ceiling fan spinning like helicopter blades. Their bodies sweaty, stuck to each other. Their love was real. They felt something every time they touched, they loved to their full extent.

She placed her right hand on her forehead in an attempt to brush her bangs out of the way. He looked up at her. These caramelized,brown eyes dug deep into her soul. Alejandro  reached over the antique nightstand, opened the noisy drawer and pulled out a ring.

  This ring wasn't your usual engagement ring. It wasn't a diamond bigger than your eyeball like you see in magazines. Actually, it wasn't a diamond at all. The stone was in fact January's birthstone, a maroon Garnet. I didn't think he would put this much thought into the ring. But I can't lie, I have been waiting for this moment for years.

Alejandro  jumped out of bed, got on one knee and whispered,"Montserrat, will you marry me?"

Tears built up in my eyes and i thought about everything. I thought about him with another woman, i thought about him cheating and our  love. Was it even real? Was any of this real? What if he left me broken? What if he hurt me to the point my heart literally shattered. What if he was the reason i broke down at three in the morning, sobbing so hard i had to put my tear covered pillow over my face so i could tune out the screams. Or the panic attacks in the middle of the day because someone i saw at work looks so much like him it hurt to just glance. I didn't want to end up this hurt. My heart couldn't take it right now. I'm just fragile right now. Overemotional. But i couldn't do it.

  Without daring to look into his eyes, I responded with a soft,"No."

  "What? Why?"

"Alejandro, i can't right now. Marriage is a big commitment. I don't think im ready for this. Im sorry."

"Tell me something i didn't know?" he asked while holding my hand up to his face.

"I don't love you anymore," I said taking a quick glance at him, expecting him to be shocked or angry.

" I said tell me something i didn't know," holding my hand tighter this time.

"I'm sorry, but i don't feel the same anymore. I don't trust you. I can feel when you lie to me and you have been killing my love very slowly. It hurts me more than it hurts you. I have been waiting for you to change,but you never did."

Suddenly I was alone.

I had lost sight of time. I had gone to sleep when it was still light outside. Now it was dark, cold, and lonely. It had been 6 weeks since i last talked to Alejandro. I'll be the first to admit it hurt. It hurt that i couldn't love him the way he wanted me to.