A Dangerous Friend

Let's Do Lunch

"Well if you'd learn a few table manners..."

"Not me!" she said, exasperated. "You."

"Ah, Jade." Her dad put his arm around her, in a kindly fashion. "When you get older, one day you'll understand. When you have kids..."

"Don't start that again."

"...things change."

"Oh, God. Please don't get philosophical."

"One day, you're a happy, young, carefree individual, the future crammed with opportunity..."

"Did you start drinking before we got here?"

"...the next you're a bitter, middle-aged divorcee with a mortgage the size of Texas and nothing to show for it but the ingratitude of your family."

"Well, thanks for that, Dad. I love these little father-daughter moments."

"But it has its compensations," he said. "And one of those compensations, one of the few things you have to look forward to, one of the few crumbs of solace available in your dotage..."

Jade rolled her eyes.

"...is the chance to embarrass your offspring in front of their new girlfriend."

"She is not my girlfriend!"

"Well, give it time," her dad said. "Maybe she'll warm to you."

"She already... she doesn't..." Jade spluttered. "Look, Dad, she is not my girlfriend, this is not a date, and you're-"

"Your dad. Who's looking out for you."

"Well, yes, but..."

"And who's also bankrolling the whole 'not-your-girlfriend' thing."

"I... urgh."

"Good girl." He reached out and tousled her hair. "Now, get back in there, and finish your lunch."

Jade stood, simmering gently, hair strewn across her face. She blew a strand out of the way. "Never," she said, "ever, tousle me again."

"You loved it when you were five."

"I loved a lot of things when I was five, Dad."

"That reminds me, I should get the baby pictures out. I'm sure Tori would love them."

"You know, I'm looking into nursing homes for you. Bad ones. The kind you see on 60 Minutes."

"As long as you both come visit."

"Don't hold your breath."

"And bring the grandkids."

"Dad!"

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"Everything all right?" Tori said, as they returned.

"Yeah." Jade took her plate and moved it around the table until she was opposite Tori.

"Was it a pickle jar? I've got a tip for opening pickle jars, if you take a damp cloth and-"

"It wasn't a pickle jar," Jade said, "and everything's fine."

"Oh. Okay." Tori waited until they were sat down. "Mr. West," she said. "Could I say something?"

Jade tensed. 'Saying something' hadn't been part of the plan. Nodding and smiling had been part of the plan. All of the plan, really, followed by getting the heck out of there. Her dad nodded. "Of course."