A Kind Of Magic

Chapter 2

Here's some rebellious Tony for you, because the Endgame trailer made me depressed AF :(

Our favorite billionaire will have a big part in this story ;)

Tony Stark raced into his workshop, slamming the door shut with much more force than strictly necessary, and demanding Jarvis turn out the lights.

No. Today was not the day for him to be dealing with cock-sucking S.H.I.E.L.D agents with too much bravado and not enough happy pills. It was 7:42am, damnit! He should still be off in lala land, dreaming about bubbles, sex and cheeseburgers (although... not necessarily in that order)

"Jarvis, nobody goes in or out of this workshop except me, kay? If Pepper threatens to cut off my balls and make maracas out of them, tell her Daddy is super busy and will play her little sadistic games later, yeah?"

"Absolutely, sir."

And damn, if Jarvis didn't sound condescending right then. Tony could almost picture the A.I with his brow poised delicately in the air, tapping his foot whilst tweeting 'Tony's a conceited fuck-Witt." On his personal verified account. It was disconcerting how quickly that image morphed into Fury.

Speaking of the handsome, one-eyed devil...

"Stark, you conceited fuck-Witt, get your ass down to HQ or you will be apprehended and forcefully taken there by my team. Do you understand me?"

Tony shot Jarvis' wireless system a dirty look before turning and smiling pleasantly at his projector screen, which was hacked by Fury's angry, enlarged face. His bared teeth were the same size as Tony's torso! Wow!

"Hey there Director Furious, good morning to you too! You're looking like a catch, as always." the billionaire sang joyfully, collapsing onto his lab chair and spinning around in obnoxious circles. "There's a little problem with that, honey. It's only teeny-weeny, so don't you worry that pretty little... bald head of yours," Tony stopped spinning and placed his hands on his desk, hoping he looked menacing and not playground dizzy. "I don't like being told what to do."

"That's a shame Stark, really. My heart is breaking for you," Fury spat into the intercom, making Tony cringe and shield his eyes from the virtual spittle. "But there are pressing matters at hand, extra terrestrial ones. We need your ass down here!"

"Hmm, my ass is expensive, Fury-,"

"STARK!"

"Fine, fine. Geez," Tony huffed, logging onto his server and shamelessly hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D's private files. Fury frowned but let him continue; blocking the tiny rocket viruses that Tony sent his way for the fun of it. "Call off your men and I'll be there in five."

"Already done," Fury growled, before severing the connection. Jarvis' voice flood back into the room.

"-didn't have the chance to block the virus, sir. Director Fury overrode my security-,"

"Don't worry about it, Jarv," Tony yawned, slapping the table and skipping out of the room with a brand new spring in his step. "Looks like we have an Asgardian shaped shit stain on our hands. Whoop, go team!"

He never did get chance to get to the HQ, though, because as soon as he exited the workshop, his nose smashed into a wall of very harsh, very familiar silver plated armor. "Well shit..."

"My apologies, friend Stark," A familiar grumble reassured, just as something firm and heavy slapped his shoulder. Tony wasn't ashamed to admit the friendly pat almost crippled him.

"Thor, buddy, hey!" Tony winced, gently prying Thor's mammoth hands away from his body. "I was just about to visit S.H.I.E.L.D HQ and hand over my Light Quell."

"Light... Quell?" Thor frowned curiously, tilting his head like a blonde overgrown puppy. Tony fought back a mean laugh, that would probably land him in the gutter, or wherever else annoying billionaires go after being murdered by the Norse God of Thunder.

"Yeah, big guy. Fury's got a stick up his ass about you being an almighty Barbie alien and whatnot. He asked me to create a prototype that can tap into your lightning reserve. Mind helping me try it out?" Tony grinned, waggling his eyebrows at the tall Thunder God. Thor didn't even seem fazed at his usual brash and flirty behavior.

"It would be impossible to 'tap' my power but I see not a problem in aiding you in your discoveries, friend Stark," Thor nodded distractedly, shifting on his feet. Feeling a bit put out, Tony nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine. So, uh... what brings you here, Mr Mighty?" Tony asked offhandedly, shrugging on his coat and raising an eyebrow in suspicion. The God didn't usually drop by off the bat, and when he did, he normally wasn't so fidgety and silent. "Something you wanna get off your chest?"

"Perhaps-,"

"You're being intentionally evasive. Lying doesn't suit you, Point Break. That's your freaky brother's forte."

"How dare you speak of my bro-,"

"So this is about the God of Debauchery?" Tony hummed, hopping back onto his feet and beaming widely at the Norse God. "I've been manipulating people longer than you've been born... oh wait, never mind. I've been manipulating CEO's and business managers longer than Natasha has, and if that doesn't say something, nothing will. "

"I thought I could trust you, Man of Iron. You do not seem obliged to blab to S.H.I.E.L.D for every niggle and tremor," Thor cleared his throat, ignoring Tony's senseless chatter and set his mouth in a grim line."-unlike the Lady Widow."

"As long as, whatever this is-," Tony made an ambiguous gesture towards the God's being. "-doesn't compromise the safety of this planet and it's inhabitants, I'll keep my pretty mouth closed."

"Fair and reasonable," Thor frowned, impressed by the rogue avenger's loyalty to his planet. The mortal was likely capable enough to venture beyond Midgard but he had remained put thus far. "Prepare yourself, friend."

Tony frowned at that, his blood pressure spiking at the possibilities that swam through his prized brain.

"What the fuck do you-,"

"Loki, show yourself."

Punching a magical toddler wasn't something Tony was necessarily proud of, but hey, fear can make you do crazy things... right? Oh fuck.