If Only

Chapter Twenty-One: Chained

My mom struggled to choose her words carefully. She swallowed and took a deep breath before meeting my gaze.

"Do you remember the Robertsons?" she asked, attempting to lock eyes with me, but ultimately avoiding direct contact.

The name instantly resonated in my mind. How could I forget? Clayton and Sofia... from church... and their son Tyrone, whom we never had a chance to meet that Sunday.

"Yeah, what about them?"

"Your dad had it all planned. He came home on purpose so we could attend the church service that day because he and Clayton Robertson had discussed taking you with us. You were supposed to meet Tyrone..." I cut my mom off, not giving her enough time to finish.

"W-wait... what? What do you mean I was supposed to meet Tyrone? I mean, why? Was it necessary?" My voice rose slightly, and my mom gestured for me to calm down.

I didn't understand, but I had a feeling I wouldn't like where this conversation was heading.

"I didn't want to keep it from you..." She started to speak, but my impatience was pushing me to the edge.

"Well then, don't," I said, my voice now getting higher, and my mom held herself back as well.

Gathering herself, my mom mustered the courage to continue. I braced for whatever revelation was coming, starting to question how well I knew my parents.

"Clayton and your father have been good friends since before you were born, even before your father and I were married... a few months after our wedding, Clayton and your dad made a... sort of pact."

"What kind of pact?" I sounded eager.

My mom looked at me wearily, fighting back tears. She tried to stay composed.

"Mom, please, tell me."

She clenched her fists on the countertop, then slowly released them, looking directly at me before speaking.

"They made a pact that if Gerard ever had a daughter and Clayton had a son, vice versa, they would be arranged to be married at the appropriate age... for the sake of continuing the legacy..." My mom's voice trailed off, and I completed her sentence, realizing the weight of those last words, "...for the sake of continuing the legacy..."

As I uttered those words, it felt like my heart sank inside my chest, and it was as if my world was gradually falling apart. I pieced together the fragments of information and came to a bitter realization about my own life.

I wasn't just my father's daughter; I was some kind of commodity, a bargaining chip.

Stepping back from the countertop, I tried to compose myself after my mother's revelation. She leaned in, reaching for my hand, but I pulled it away.

"Jade... I never agreed with your father and Clayton's pact, I swear to God..."

"What am I, huh? Just a business deal? A way for rich people to get richer? I've never felt so objectified," I raised my voice, not caring if Jared heard me from upstairs. At this point, I didn't care anymore.

"No! Jade, you have to understand how much I prayed for you..." My mom tried to explain, tears welling up as she sat across from me at the counter. I remained resistant. Dropping such bombshell information deserved no expectation of my immediate okay.

"How much did you pray? To fulfill the deal with the Robertsons?" I practically shouted, not feeling guilty. My anger couldn't be contained, realizing my existence might be geared toward boosting some man's fortune.

"For years... We waited until the Robertsons had their firstborn, Troy. Clayton reminded us they fulfilled their pact, but we were still waiting. After the accident when Troy turned two, we couldn't bear trying to conceive. Out of respect for the Robertsons, we stopped trying... then, several years later, Sofia announced her pregnancy with Tyrone. In that same year, we found out I was pregnant with you, Jade. We waited patiently, with courage and persistence. After holding you on the day you were born, I was sickened by your father's pact. You were mine, my baby, not a barter for some pact..." My mom was in tears, repeatedly saying, "I'm sorry," after unveiling the truth.