Dear Diary...

Introducing Honesty J

Dear Diary, 12.12.17

All I ever wanted was to be the opposite of my mother, but here I am 17 & pregnant. I have no job & stay with my grandmother Louise. I honestly gave up hope on leaving this neighborhood 6 months ago when I found out I was pregnant. Young girls with babies never make it out of here. Take my mom for example she was 15 when she had me & ever since her life went down hill. She got hooked on drugs & started selling herself for money. I don't believe I'll end up exactly like her because I want to be the mother to my child that I never had. It would be a little easier if I had help but my baby's father doesn't want anything to do with us . He's 20 & his name's Joe. We met last summer at a party & ever since we were in love; so I thought. When I told him that I was pregnant he said he wasn't ready for a baby & that I should just get rid of it. At first I thought about it because I didn't want to lose Joe, but what kind of person would I be if I took an innocent life that was actually apart of me; Right? So I kept her & decided to raise her on my own; with the help of my grandmother of course. She's the only support I have along with my 2 best friends, but it's okay because they're all I need.
Sincerely,
Honesty J.

Dear Diary, 12.13.17

So today I saw Joe! When I seen him so many emotions went through my body. I wanted to run up to him & hug him but I also wanted to punch him for being such an ass! I don't know how I can love someone so much but at the same time feel so much hate towards him. I know it's wrong that I still have feelings for him considering the fact he wants nothing to do with our child, but he was my first! The first one to show me love, the first real relationship I had, & even my first sexual partner. But when I seen him I knew I had to put all my emotions pass me & keep walking; which I was glad I did. Joe glanced at me & didn't even take a second look. He had no care in the world that I was carrying his daughter. I wanted so bad to beat his ass but I kept my composure & finished walking to school. I knew this was going to be hard but I never imagined it to be this bad. I really thought he would come around.

Sincerely,
Honesty J.