The day you had you let me go (Book4) |Not Edited|

Prolouge

Had you ever have loved me?
Have you experienced to be loved?
Had you even ever thought of me?
Did you know I couldn't sleep just thinking about you?
But you, you don't even care because it's nothing to you
You threw me away that easily.
You didn't know how I have felt when you left.
Each night and day I was thinking.
Did I do something wrong and unpleasing for you to act cold to me?
I know it's not your fault.
It's my fault because I still love you until now but I don't want me to suffer and it's hard for me seeing myself this way.
Because I know I still love you but you let me go.
Why did you let me go?
Do you not love me anymore?
Did I ask you to let go?
I'm suffering because I have loved you so much.
But I decided to stay with you to know if you still love me truly from the heart.
I told him I still love you.
But do you not like me the way you used to?

I don't know what to think now.
Because when I'm with him
I felt love.
I felt comfort.
I felt home.
when with him.

But with you.
I felt nothing.
I felt I was a stranger.
I felt empty.

When I was with you
Because you broke up with me
When I still love you
You didn't hold on.
You didn't stay with me.
Instead, you left me alone.

I felt so many emotions that I cannot explain.
Sadness, Pain, Suffering, Anxiety, Depression.
When you left me I thought to myself I was going to die without you.
Because you were my light
You were my hero before.
When I needed you before you're always there by my side.
But now you left me all alone.
And now I have another
I know I'm not suppose to love you anymore because I had him.

But why is it so hard living with you?
Why is so hard loving you?
Unlike before it's so easy to love you.
But why now?
When I had another?
Why are you showing me you love me when everything's too late.

I don't love you anymore now.
But why is there the feeling of I still want to love you?

I don't like it.
I don't this feeling
I love him now.
But why can't I do it?
Because I already loved him and do not wish to hurt him.

But I still love you.
But why?
You left me with nothing.
You've have hurt me so much.
Even though I know I was hurt by you.
Why can't I stop loving you?
When I found another who's better than you.

He understands me in everything I do.
He loves me for who I was and who I am.
But I can't let him suffer consequences because of me.
Because I still love you and not him?
He is showing me everything
Giving me everything
Loving me as no one else could do.
Understanding me even whatever situations come along.
He'll be with me all the way.
He really truly loves me.
But why can't I love him like the way I used to love you?
Because I still love you.
And cannot forget you.
But I already love him.
And I don't want to hurt him.
But even though I broke up with him.
He still loves me.
He still loves a selfish girl like me.

Because I know I'm selfish because I cannot love him like the way I used to.
I feel so sad about not being with him.
I feel lonely without him by my side.
When he left me.
I feel more empty inside each day.
Because I know he still loves me.
But I don't love him.
But he understands because were in the same situation.
He was dump by his first love and I was also experiencing that.
That's why he decided to love someone like me.

It's okay for him if I love you
He understands me.
That's why I had to let him go.
Because I cannot let him go through so much suffering and agony because of me.
So I decided to let him go.
But he doesn't want me to go.
And I realized it now that it is no use being with you because you didn't even love me back then.
But why do I still love you?
And I don't understand why? I love you so much that it's hard for me to let you go.
But what about him?
I also love him.
No, I already did love him
And I know it.
But he said he'll wait for me to come back no matter how long it takes.
That's how much he loves me.
He'll wait for me to come to him.
But you must show now why I should be with you and why should I choose you.
If you can prove to me you love me in a week or two I will stay with you.
But if not I will come running back to him cause I know he still loves me even though I broke up with him and given him sadness and pain when I left.
But even though I left him
He still loves me and understands me.
That's why I love him.
He understands me in everything I do.
And when I'm with him
I feel happy.
I felt loved.
And I can be myself when I'm with him.
But that was it I told him I still love you.
And he understands me
So he told me that I should go back to you.
But I'm with you now.
And you're not even trying to love me.
May I ask you really do you still love me?
Or do you want me to just be with you?
But how can I?
If you're acting like a stranger in front of me.
You don't even notice me.
You don't notice that I'm here.
When will you open your eyes and see me?
Or will you lose me again in the way your acting?
Like what did before.