One Moment, Academy Kids 4

Panicking

Sincerely, 

The WKVS Team

I sank onto my bed as the last of the words ran through my mind. It occurred to me I'd left the envelope with the remaining forms on the table downstairs, but I couldn't muster the caring through the panic still holding me in its grip. Curling onto the bed, I yanked my phone from pocket, staring at its screen like it might offer the answers to all my problems on a silver platter if I begged hard enough. 

Please. Please. Please. Let this be a joke. Let someone think this funny. I cannot go to this audition but I cannot ignore the chance. I can't...I can't...

No matter how hard I stared, the phone failed to make any answers appear. When the phone rang in my hand, I nearly dropped it. Sasha's beautiful smile lit up the screen and I hurried to answer.

"Hey." I shoved the panic down and tried to sound bored.

"Hi. What are you up to?" I loved her voice. It held a natural cadence I wanted to bottle so I could hear it any time I wanted.

"Nothing." Just panicking over a piece of paper that holds all my hopes and dreams along with my worst nightmare, you know basically a Tuesday. My hand brushed the paper and panic swarmed up in my mind. I needed to forget about it, needed a distraction, needed out of the house. "You wanna do something?" I asked, shoving down the panic again as I balled up the paper and tossed it at the trash can. 

"Sure, you get your license when I wasn't looking?" She giggled and I rolled my eyes. "Cause i'm sort of stuck without a ride." 

Dammit. "Um. Scott might be home. Or Mallory. If I can get a ride wanna go somewhere?" 

"Sure, I'm up for anything." 

"I'll text you in a few. Later." 

"Bye." 

I hung up and made my way to Scott's room. After a quick knock, the door swung open and rumpled, sleepy-eyed Scott stood there. Weird he was only just waking up. It happened more often now. "What's up?" 

"Didn't mean to wake you up, sorry." 

Scott shrugged and turned, walking back into his room. "No big. I needed to get up anyway." He yanked open a drawer and tugged on a shirt. "What's up little brother?" 

"Any chance you can give me a ride to pick up Sasha? Maybe take us somewhere." I watched as he pulled on jeans, and tucked his phone in his pocket. 

"yeah, sure. I'm meeting Lesia at the mall if you're interested. Unless of course, your girlfriend is looking for something else."

Heat rose in my cheeks as he slipped shoes on. "She's not my girlfriend." Not that I wouldn't want her to be. 

"Haven't made a move yet, huh? Come on, let's go pick up your not a girlfriend." He grinned at me as he strode by. Bastard. 

The drive was quiet, but not uncomfortable, which in itself was odd. I couldn't remember a time when Scott wasn't berating me for something, or bossing us around. I kept waiting for him to make some comment on my outfit. The bright purple jeans I found in a local thrift shop paired with the neon green button down I left undone over a t-shirt matching the pink streaks in my hair was exactly the kind of outfit he would have had a fit over before boot camp. Now he barely looked at it. Kind of nice to be able to ride with him and not get a lecture. When we pulled into the Toma house, Scott placed a hand on my arm to stop me from getting out. 

"Hey, look. Now isn't the time but we should talk, soon."  

I nodded, figuring I knew what he wanted to talk about. He let go and I exited the car, but I didn't get too far. A blur of preppy clothes and dark hair threw itself into my arms. Chuckling, I pulled back, taking in the rather odd appearance of my best friend. "What are you wearing?" The pleated, red plaid skirt and white button down was very different from her usual attire. I didn't think I liked it, especially not the high ponytail. 

"What do you think?" She stepped back and spun. Yeah, nope. Didn't like it at all. I scowled. "That good huh? KD convinced me to try something new, said you might enjoy it." 

"She was wrong," I stated. I couldn't take it anymore. Stepping forward, I reached up and carefully yanked the elastic holding the damn ponytail. I used my fingers to shake it out the way I'd seen dad do with my sisters hair a million times. It wasn't until I looked down that I realized how close we were standing. All it would take would be for me to lean down the barest of inches and our lips would meet. Time seemed to freeze as I stood there, staring at her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to close those few inches between us. Instead, I untangled my fingers and stepped back, clearing my throat. "Scott's waiting for us. We should go." I turned and headed to the car, opening the passenger door for her. 

"So, where are we off to?" She asked as she climbed in. Her voice seemed a little flat. I grabbed her hand, drawing her gaze. 

"You okay?" 

She smiled and nodded, then climbed in the car. I wanted to ask more but I also didn't want to push. Instead, I closed the door and climbed in back, still cursing my own near stupidity. I couldn't risk our friendship the way I nearly had. Maybe that damn paper muddled my brain or something. My throat closed up at the memory. 

Stupid fucking paper. 

It held the ticket to everything I ever wanted. Automatic entry into Star Camp paid for and everything. Access to the kind of training and resources and mentors I could never hope to find anywhere else. It was like finding the Golden Ticket in a Wonka Bar. The best shot at achieving all my dreams. 

Stupid fucking dreams. 

"So where are we going?" Sasha's question yanked me out of my thoughts. She'd twisted around, though still belted in, and leaned over to peer around the seat. 

"To the mall," I replied, "Scott was heading there anyway." 

"Good. I just got my allowance and I need a new swimsuit." 

A vision of Sasha in a tiny two-piece suit rose up in my mind, her dark eyes shining, skin glistening from water droplets. My pulse sped up, mouth going dry at the picture I'd created in my head. 

Stupid fucking crush.