vitreous / hs. (DISCONTINUED)

all alone falling stars

“But Atlas–”

 “No.” I said, pushing his half of the sandwich towards him. “Eat.”

He looked down at it like it was the most dangerous thing in the world; his eyes were wide and his shoulders shook. Nibbling on his lip, he looked up at me from his plate in an almost questioning fashion.

“Watch.” I said, picking up my half with shaking hands. I tried my best to make it seem like it wasn’t hard for me. Arrow wasn’t buying it. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and bit into the sandwich.

When I opened my eyes, Arrow was still looking at me like he was before I had taken a bite: reluctantly. His eyes darted from me as I swallowed then down to his plate and back up at me again.

“Atlas I can’t do this.” His voice shook as he spoke.

“Yes you can.”

“No. I can’t.”

“Do you think I wanted to do that just then? I didn’t.”

“Then why did you?” His eyes began to water and he lifted his shaking hands to both sides of his head, resting it in them. He blinked and a tear rolled down his cheek.

“For you.” I mumbled, my voice low.

“Stop doing things for me.” He muttered.

“You know I won’t.”

“I wish you would.”

“Why?”

“I’m really undeserving.”

“No you aren’t.” 

“I am.” He sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “God, I’m crying again.”  

I didn’t say anything after that. He kept talking about how he wanted to help me get better and at that point all I wanted to do was hit him straight in the nose.

He didn’t know how much he needed to be here. He kept brushing me off whenever I brought him back into the conversation. He was too busy wanting me to better that he didn’t leave room for himself. That, and the fact that he didn’t want to get better.

“Arrow can I ask you a question?” I asked him once he had finished sniffling.

“I don’t know.”

“You need to answer it.”

He hesitated, and then sighed. “Okay.”