her (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 30- Hopelessly

Hoseok nervously glances at his watch. He's late, Hoseok thought. Maybe he changed his mind and decided not to come after all. It took Hoseok by bewilderment when Namjoon had called him late last night to set up a meeting. From the sound of his voice, Namjoon was in a hurry. He would have met Hoseok that night if Hoseok was in town. Upon hearing that Namjoon wanted to see him, Hoseok got into his car and drove through the night.

Another quick glance, but before that, the door to the empty cafe opened. The bell gave out a perky chim. Namjoon's tall build ducked under the door, he scanned the room. Hoseok raised his hand restlessly, his hand shaking a little in the process. Namjoon made his way to Hoseok's table, sitting down on the edge of his seat.

"Namjoon. Are you okay?" Hoseok asked upon noticing the dark circles under the younger's eyes. His hair was ruffled and a mess when he took off his cap.

"No, Seolhyun and I broke up." he answered. What astonished Hoseok was how calm the boy in front of him seemed. The act of breaking up with someone should break both person's hearts. But Namjoon seemed so fine with it.

"Oh my gosh. What happened?"

"That's not important right now." Namjoon said.

"What do you mean? Your fiance broke up with you-"

"I don't care about that right now."

"How can you be so calm? You loved her, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't. Everything was a lie. The relationship, the marriage. Well, the marriage part was real, I really thought I would marry her and move on with my life. But she didn't want a love that's not real. My heart was not and will never belong to her. I...I love Y/N."

"What?"

"Hyung," Namjoon desperately called out. It was the first time since that day he had called Hoseok hyung. The older sometimes forget that Namjoon is younger than him by a few months. He can be vulnerable too, and this was the first time Hoseok has witnessed this. "I need you to tell me what happened that day. Between you and Y/N."

Hoseok smiled. "Finally." He then began to relay all the details he could remember from that day. "I guess I should start from the beginning. I told you that I left Y/N to become a trainee. She told me that she loved me, but I was too scared of the commitment and distance, so I left without saying anything. And over the years, I realized my feelings for her. Seeing her again made me certain that I love her as well. But she wanted no part of me, which was understandable after what I did to her. I just thought I could win her over again."

"I soon realized that she had fallen for you, slowly. You didn't notice at first, but I did. She's not the type of girl that loves easily, but when she does, she dives in deep. The jealousy grew in me. And it got the best of me when you two officially got together. After a few months, I couldn't handle it anymore. So I drank out of my mind. I went to her office and forced myself onto her."

When Namjoon heard this, his eyes widened, his jaws clenched. He was ready to pounce. "I know, I'm a terrible person. And when you came in, I said those awful things that weren't true. I thought that if I got you out of the picture, Y/N would come back to me. But instead, I had hurt the two people I cared about the most in the world. Namjoon, I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you for the last 4 years. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I need you to know that Y/N never did anything wrong."

Namjoon remained silence, and stared down at his hands. They were numb. "Oh my gosh." he breathe out, clutching his head. "I threw her out of the house. And it was raining and she must have been so scared of the thunder but I turned my back on her anyways." he began a quiet sob. Hoseok felt pain in his heart as he watched the scene. "I messed up, I messed up so bad."