Wanderlust (Kellic)

Chapter 13

"Matty’s dying," I admit, closing my eyes. It hurts so much to say that.

"He is?"

I nod. “Lily called me. Said there was a fire. Said he…inhaled a lot of smoke.” The crying that was slowing down starts up again. “Said he might not even make it through the night.”

Vic strokes my hair comfortingly. “Hey, it’s okay,” he says softly. “She said he might not make it through the night. Might. Nothing’s guaranteed. He’s not dead yet. There’s still hope, Kell.”

I want to ask, Is there really? Is there really hope for someone whose life is just a series of losing people?

"Let’s go back," he says quietly, standing up and helping me to my feet. I just nod and go along with what he says, letting him lead me back to the hotel. My mind is still spinning with thoughts of Matty, but I can’t focus on them because all of a sudden, I’m so fucking tired.

When we get to the room, I crawl right into the bed, and Vic crawls in with me, both of us wet and still not caring. “It’s okay,” he whispers as I fall asleep. “I’m here, and Matty is, too, and we’re not leaving you. I promise.”

—

For the first few seconds that I’m awake, I forget. I’m stuck in that I-just-woke-up-and-can’t-think-about-anything-at-the-moment haze. Then, as I rub my eyes and start to become more familiar with my surroundings, everything crashes over my head like a wave.

Vic. The rain. Matty.

I bite my lip and try to think about what Vic said last night—that nothing is guaranteed, that Matty isn’t dead yet, that there’s still hope. His words are what stop me from breaking down all over again. He’ll be okay, I think desperately. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He has to be.

"You’re awake," Vic says, startling me slightly. I glance up at him and find that his eyes are wide open, and he’s staring at me.

I nod slowly, trying to push away the thoughts of Matty. “Did you sleep at all?”

"A little bit."

I bring my hand up to his cheek. “You should sleep.”

He just keeps staring at me, looking almost sad. “It’s not that easy.”

I want to ask him why it’s so hard for him, why he just can’t seem to sleep. I want to know if there’s something in particular that keeps him awake at night. I want to make it go away. I can hear his voice in my head as I’m thinking about this, can hear him singing, “I’m gonna give all my secrets away,” and it suddenly occurs to me that, as real and honest as he is, he hasn’t given them all away just yet. They’re still there in the cracking of his voice and the tears that sometimes form in his eyes. They’re there in the fake smile he gave me yesterday. They’re there in the fact that he can tell me that everything will be okay, but he can’t seem to say the same to himself.

"Try to sleep a bit more," I say softly. "Please."

"Okay," he whispers. He closes his eyes.

—

"Baltimore Aquarium, here we come!" I proclaim as we make our way down the streets of the city. The Baltimore Aquarium is where we’re going to get our next clue, or so Vic and I have concluded after much deliberation. We’re supposed to go to the gift shop, buy a pair of sunglasses, and then "wait for it". We don’t know what we’re waiting for, so this should be interesting.

"Okay," Vic says as we step inside the large aquarium. "Are we gonna explore or get the clue shit over with first?"

I don’t even have to answer him. We exchange glances before both cracking smiles. “Alright,” Vic says. “To the gift shop we go.”