Moving Mountains

1

.^^ Josef ^^

— Josef Von Eisenberg —

I thought my last sight was going to be the barrel of a gun.

I heard the gun Fire, and I knew that that meant the bullet had already hit me: most bullets were faster than sound, after all. Once you hear the shot, you're already hit.

Instead, I blinked, and I was looking at a new surroundings, a white room with nothing much in it.

I turned slowly, and viewed the room. "Hmm... Krankenhaus? I hate hospitals... Hallo? Ahh... Herr Doctor? Where am I, ja?" I called out, and stood up slowly, letting the silk blanket fall off my body.

I felt the fabric, confused, then looked down at my naked body, wrapping the blanket around my waist, creating a kilt-like situation. "You could at least leave me with my underwear, Herr Doctor..." I muttered.

There was an odd collection of fantasy things on the wall, like some renaissance fair geek's prized collection. I chuckled softly, looking over it. "Ahh, this is a private practice, ja? And ze Doctor is a nerd? That is fine, I suppose it is good my doctor is bookish, he studied well and fixed me, after all." I nodded, and looked at the rest of the room, looking for the door.

After a moment, I began to panic slightly, seeing no exit to the room at all. I saw now the bed was just a stone slab, was made of some slightly soft-ish stone, like a hardened mushroom, really. That, the silk blanket/kilt, and the wall of fake weapons and armors was the only things in the room.

I looked back at the wall of things. "Okay... one of these must be the latch for the door... but which one... these all look expensive, so they wouldn't be nailed into the wall, that would ruin their value, I think... so something simple?"

I looked at waist-height to me, which would be about chest height to most normal people, and saw a hefty one-handed Warhammer. It had no embellishments at all, except a ring of thick, deeply-engraved symbols around the head of the hammer, and a spiral of the same symbols curling around and up to the smaller, metal-piercing point of the other side, both sets of symbols apparently of Norse origin, from what I could see. They weren't German, that much was sure.

"That's the... least expensive-looking, I suppose... maybe." I sighed, and touched the hammer, twisting it and turning it slowly, like a door handle.

It came off the wall, to my annoyance, and I set it back down... but couldn't let go of it. "Oh shit, there's superglue on it? Scheiße! Ficken Arschloch!!!" I hissed, and accidentally placed my hand against the wall, bracing to try to pull away from the hammer.

I paused when something cold touched my hand, and looked at it, groaning. A small golden pendant, (a necklace of some sort,) in the shape of a snake's eye, was now adhered to my palm. Both items turned to dust, and I froze.

"Oh... well... that's... new?" I looked at the wall slowly, and reached again, selecting a small knife that looked like it was used to skin animals, though what kind would need that kind of heavy, thick blade, that I didn't know.

It stuck to my hand, but I was ready for it this time, and so I looked for something else. "Alright... now... what about... ja, those boots look... sturdy?" I touched a pair of black leather boots with silver accents, covered in Runes just like the hammer, with my other hand.

They turned to dust, along with the knife, and I gasped when they reappeared on my feet, accompanied by a pair of pants, made of the same material, with nice detailing, like fancy leather pants.

I nodded slowly, re-wrapping the silk around my waist as a thick belt, as it was very warm, and could be useful later. "Okay... both cool... and very disturbing."