Broken

Morning Routine

TRIGGER WARNING
SELF HARM/SLIGHT ABUSE/SLIGHT MENTION OF RAPE

I woke up with a pain in my ass. I knew I probably wouldn't be able to sit without excruciating pain. My dad had gotten drunk and raped me again... I hated his guts, along with my mother. My head hurt too, but last night was very hazy... I got up and walked over to my dresser, pulling out a sweatshirt and some ripped jeans. I hated school too... Everyone is just an asshole in my book. I've never had a friend stick around for long, and I take everything too seriously.

I walked into the bathroom to take a piss and change out of my clothes. I looked up at the mirror and saw some new bruises on my face, and a few cuts on my body. Thanks a fucking lot dad... I set my shirt from yesterday aside and I looked at the razor blades sitting on the edge of the counter. It's like they wanted me to do it. I grabbed one and slid the blade into my wrist, wincing in pain. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but I sliced a few more times before moving the blade to my other hand. I looked at all of the scars I already had, but I didn't care anymore, it helped cope with the pain. I dragged the blade across my wrist, and watched the blood drip into the sink. I turned on the water and washed the blade off while washing my wrists, hands, and just the sink in general. After I bandaged myself up and changed into my clothes I walked downstairs.

As soon as I walked downstairs my dad noticed and got up. He walked over to me, probably trying to get a reaction out of me. So I don't respond in any way, shape, or form. He grabbed my hoodie and pulled me closer to his face, but I still don't respond. He let me go and walked back into the living room, sitting down on the couch, falling asleep.

I walked over to the fridge and grabbed some orange juice, then walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a cup. I poured myself a glass and put the juice away. After drinking it i put the glass in the sink, knowing I'll have to do the dishes later.

I sighed, remembering I had left my backpack on the couch, and I knew that my dad would probably wake up if I tried to grab it, but I did it anyways, and he woke up.

He grabbed me again and pushed me down, causing me to hit my head on the coffee table. "What the hell did I say about waking me up boy?" His voice was harsh and cold lime his eyes, and I looked up at him, afraid to respond. "I asked you a question boy... Now answer me!"

He picks me off of the floor and hits me across the face, knocking me to the ground once again. He starts kicking me in the stomch, then he kicks me in the face. He smirks and walks into his bedroom, and I hear my parents start instantly fighting. I grab my backpack while whipping the blood off of my face and rush out of the door, just wanting to get out of that shithole.

After a few blocks I start walking, and I pull out my phone. I look to see if I have notifications, but I don't, so I just scroll through Instagram when I see an account that catches my eye. The guy doesn't have his name on his account, like me, and he lives in England. I live in the U.S, and I realize he's about 3-4 years older than me since I'm 16, and he looks to be either 19-20. He's a very attractive man, and his account says he's single, and my jaw drops.

'How can a man so handsome be single?' I thought to myself, not caring that I know I have no chance with him. I'm gay, and my mother is against it, so she verbally abuses me about it. His account says he's gay too, and my eyes get wider. And the fact that I have a possibility to be with him hits me, and I instantly follow him. I look at his story, and I realise that he plays my favorite game too, and he's asking questions about ships in the game.

I instantly respond, giving my honest opinion about my ships, and I'm one of the very few people who ships the characters. I feel like DMing him, but I was too nervous. I go through his account and like all of his posts. While doing this I figure out that he was born in Australia, but moved to England when he was around 2. Even though he didn't grow up around it, he says "mate" a lot, or at least uses it a lot in his captions.

I put my phone in my pocket and continue to walk to school. Whenever I'm a few blocks away I pause for a second and take a deep breathe, preparing myself for the bullying and homophobic slurs.

Author's Note

Hey! My name is Kara, and this is my first real attempt to write. I'm not good with much, and I doubt this is any good, but I'm still gonna try...
I will take recommendations, but I doubt anyone will even see this... But I'm still gonna write it.