My Idol

forty five

Jimin: That's great, I'm glad to see you so happy!  Well, I gotta get going, lunch break is just about over. I'm actually glad I don't have to come all the way there tonight to check on you!

I'm glad you don't have to come all the way here to check on me too. You were getting annoying! 🙃 Jk. Actually, I can't thank you enough. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm sorry that I'm such a pain in the ass sometimes. Thank you for putting up with me. I love you. Tae

Jimin: I love you too Tae Tae, and you don't have to thank me. I'm here for you, always. Gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow morning!

I stuck my phone back in my pocket, and threw my trash in the bin. I hope Jimin is right, and that Y/n will never doubt how I feel about her. I took a deep breath. She said she'd never keep anything from me again, and if something was bothering her, she'd tell me. I just had to trust that she would.

I walked back into the living room, picking up the suitcase and bag, and heading back up the stairs. I took them into the bedroom and set them on the floor, looking towards the bed. Y/n was looking at me, smiling.

"Hi."

I smiled at her, and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge next to her. "Hi. Did I wake you up?"

"No, I've been awake for a bit. Where'd you go?"

"I went downstairs to put the kimbap in the fridge and find something to drink. I ended up eating the kimbap though. Are you hungry?"

"No, not really."

I nodded, looking at her, wondering how I got so lucky. "Y/n, you know how much I love you, right?"

She tilted her head, looking into my eyes. "Maybe almost as much as I love you...but, I'll always love you more."

I smiled at her crookedly, shaking my head. "I don't think so, that's not possible."

"Really? Because I'm not the one who decided to punish you by making you keep quiet while I was driving you absolutely insane, and then telling you that you couldn't kiss me or touch me for two days..."

I held back a smile, narrowing my eyes at her. "You're really going to use this to try and get out of your punishment now? That's low..."

She shrugged. "Whatever..." she deadpanned.

I sighed dramatically, rolling my eyes. "Fine, I'll let you out of it. But only because I love you."

She tried to remain serious, fighting a smile. She bit her lip, then her hand came up to cover her mouth as she shook with laughter.

"You do know that I probably wouldn't have lasted two days anyway, right? I'm having a hard time not kissing you right now." I smiled at her, her laughter music to my ears.

"So what's stopping you?" She looked up at me, licking her lips, her eyes shining mischievously.

"Absolutely nothing." I said, leaning down, planting my lips against hers. Her arms went around my neck, and she held me tightly, her lips pressed to mine firmly for probably half a minute, before she loosened her hold.

I raised up just enough to look at her face, and she had tears in her eyes. I felt a twinge of fear, wondering why, wondering if something was wrong, or if she was going to tell me something I didn't want to hear.

"Y/n..." I hesitantly took her hand in mine, looking into her eyes, trying to get a sense of why she suddenly seemed sad. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, and squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears to roll down her cheeks, leaving a wet trail. When her eyes opened, she looked right into mine, and gave me a sweet smile.

"This past week and a half has been unreal. It's hard to believe that it's been less than 2 weeks since I met you. In the short amount of time that I've known you, you have come to mean more to me than I ever thought anyone could. You are the most beautiful, caring, amazing person I have ever known. I honestly don't remember what life was like before you, because you have made me so happy. Any sadness I may have felt in the past, any hurt, resentment, anger, inadequacy, it has all been buried so deep, that I've forgotten it."

She reached her hand up, touching my cheek gently, her eyes smiling, crinkling at the corners.

"I don't know why I get to be the person lucky enough to be with you, because I really don't feel like I deserve you. You're so....good, and pure. I wish I had been able to know you sooner, but I'll take what I've been  given, because I believe that there must be a reason why it happened when it did. Maybe I had something to learn before I met you. I don't know. But I do know that I'm not the same person I was before I met you. You have changed me, and made me see myself differently. I didn't like myself very much before. There was so much I thought I needed to do better, be better at."

All I could do was look at her. I knew she was speaking from her heart, and she looked so beautiful...her eyes were full of light, her face was glowing.

"I know that at the beginning of this, of...us, I was afraid. I was afraid to trust myself, afraid that I would go down the wrong path again, and end up getting hurt. I wanted to find myself, know who I was, and what I wanted in life before I gave myself to anyone again, because I didn't think it was fair to give anyone a heart that wasn't whole, or capable of loving. I was afraid I didn't know how to love."

Her eyes filled with tears again, but I knew they were tears built on overwhelming emotion, because the same tears filled my eyes as I listened to her.

"But I know who I am now. I know what I want. And I know that I love you, Kim Taehyung. I see my entire universe in your eyes. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. You are every piece of the puzzle that is my heart, and you have put it back together. You are the light to my darkness. You are the up to my down. You are the happiness to my sadness. You are the glue that holds me together when I think I'm going to fall apart. You are everything I need. When I found you, I found myself, and I'm not looking any farther. I'm finally home...you are my home, and I'm never leaving again."