Chapter 21

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Jax did come by to take Charlotte out to lunch, surprising both Katie and Happy and disappointing his daughter greatly. She didn't look at him, her arms crossed over her chest, until Katie intervened.

"Charlie," she said quietly, crouching to meet the girl's eye level. "Come on, sweetie. Your dad really wants to spend some time with you."

"Fine," she huffed, acting much closer to sixteen than she was.

"Hey," Katie led her out of the room. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," she grumbled.

"Charlotte," Katie said firmly. "Tell me."

"Some kids at school were talking about Dad," she said shamefully. "He's a criminal or whatever."

Katie cringed and sighed. "I'm sorry baby."

"I hate him."

"No you don't," Katie said, showing her anger.

"You do," she snapped back. "I heard you and Happy last night. What you said about Dad."

Katie suddenly felt hot, heat rose from her belly to her chest, neck and face and she wobbled a little, fearing she way pass out. The conversation she and Happy had the night before was not a good one.

"What did you hear?" Katie asked her reluctantly.

"That he's making deals with bad people. Stuff about Ryan," she said, her voice lowering as she said their kidnapper's name.

"Okay," she tried to compose herself enough to deal with the current conversation. "Well, your dad did do that but we're all working together to fix it."

"Did you try to give me away?" Charlotte asked suddenly.

"What?" Katie inhaled sharply.

"You said to Happy you wished the adoption worked," she said sadly. "Grant front school is adopted. It means-"

"I know what adopted means," Katie said quickly. "And yes, me and your dad did try to find another family for you."

"Because he raped you?"

"Charlotte," Katie gasped. "You don't know what that means and no, it's not," Katie stammered and stuttered before simply shutting her mouth. She left the kitchen abruptly with silent tears running down her face.

"What?" Jax asked urgently as Katie walked by him and toward the stairs.

"You need to talk to our daughter, Jax. I can't do this anymore."

Katie moved swiftly up the steps and buried her face in her pillow before letting out a powerful, pained sob.

Jax didn't move from his spot at first but after a moment or two he decided to bite the bullet, so go speak, and head into the kitchen.

"Hey," Jax said awkwardly. He found Charlotte making herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Hi."

"What happened?"

"I asked Mommy about when you raped her," she said it so calmly.

"What?" He snapped, his sorrow presenting as rage. "Who told you that?"

"I heard Mommy and Happy talking," she explained, "And then I Googled it."

"You fucking Googled it," he huffed to himself in disbelief. "Baby girl that's not what happened, it was bad, it was not something," Jax Teller was at a loss for words.

"I Googled Miguel Galindo too," she told Jax.

"Who told you that name?" He asked angrily.

"I heard about him," she shrugged.

"Charlotte," Jax said authoritatively.

"I heard about him when Mommy was living with Angel. They called him El Diablo."

Jax nodded slowly. He didn't know much about the Rebels but it all made sense to him. "What did you see online?"

Charlotte shook her head. She was too young to truly process the violence but she knew enough not to want to Jax near Galindo.

"You don't have to worry about Miguel Galindo."

"Mommy is."

"I know but I'm not gonna let him come near you or Mommy."

His word meant nothing to Charlotte now and he could see that.

"Okay."

"No it's not okay," Jax huffed. "I'm gonna fix this. Okay? I'm gonna fix everything."

Jax kissed Charlotte goodbye and, before leaving, took the steps two at a time. He knocked on the bedroom door. "Kate?"

"What?" She sniffled.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah," she said, sitting up quickly.

He stepped into the room. "I talked to Charlotte. I think you're right. I think I fucked up. I think...I think I became what I hated most, Katie. It's true, the gavel corrupts. You can't sit in that chair without being a savage."

Swallowing, she nodded. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," he admitted, moving closer to the bed. "I'm not a monster, Katie."

She wanted to disagree but she was too tired. "Just be careful, please."

Shrugging her off, Jax tried to appear nonchalant. "I think it's time I put myself at risk instead of everyone else...instead of you and Hap."

"I'd appreciate that," she said with a small smile. Katie patted the section of the mattress beside her and Jax sat. "I was angry when Charlotte heard that shit I said to Hap, I'm sorry. I know that's not what happened, it is I mean, but it happened to both of us. You didn't hurt me back then, Jax. I don't know how I can ever explain that to her at this age."

"I don't know," he sniffled. "I don't want her to hate me, Kate. I hate myself enough for everyone else."

"Jax," Katie whimpered. "Don't."

He hugged her, his face hidden in her neck, and began to cry. "Now I know why my old man didn't want this life for me."

Katie cried with him, stroking his hair back, as they comforted each other, their anger and hatred was still present but for the moment it was forgotten.

"Then honor JT and fix this, make it better for our kids."

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