Wandering With The Wolves

Chapter 1

I held the small, cold, steel blade in my hand. Standing in my bathroom with tears pouring down my face, I heard a faint knock on the door.

"Heather!" My best friend, Frank Iero, shouted through the locked door. Frank was a guitarist in the band My Chemical Romance, but I still treated him like I did before he joined the world famous band. 

"What?" I yelled back, regulating my voice so that he couldn't tell I was crying.

"Are you coming downstairs? We've got to choose what film to watch!"

"Just pick one! I don't care which."

"Well, er, Mikey, Ray and Gerard want to watch Harry Potter. Y'know, the one with the flying horse thing in it. What's it called...?"

The other members of MCR: Ray Toro, Gerard Way and Gerard's younger brother Mikey Way were sat in my living room. I'd known Mikey since we were young; we were in the same year at school and I'd gotten to know Gerard through him. Ray was Gerard's friend who I'd gotten to know when I was at a party Gerard threw. To me, they weren't the amazing rockstars in a huge band, they were my best friends. They'd been my friends before the band and they always will be. 

"It's called Prisoner of Azkaban!" I shouted at Frank.

 "Yeah, that one. Do you wanna watch that?" He bellowed back. 

"Yeah, I'll been down in a minute."

"Okay."

I heard his footsteps fade away. Frank was the sweetest person ever. He knew exactly what to say and when to say it. He had a way of talking with a cheeky twang, but nobody cared because he was Frank and everyone liked him! And that's why I had to do what I was doing. I had to kill myself to save him from being hurt because of me; I hurt everyone I cared about. Everyone. I couldn't take it anymore. I buried the razor into my skin, opening it painfully. I'd cut my wrist and the blood began to pour. My head began spinning. The next thing I knew, I fell to the floor with a bang and I passed out.

~*~

Images of Frank, Ray, Gerard and Mikey flashed in front of me. They were my friends, how could I hurt them like this? No, I had to do this, to stop them getting damaged because of me. I cared about them too much. They were my best friends. Frank's gorgeous green eyes; Ray's crazy brown afro; Mikey's awkwardness and Gerard's all-round amazingness, their faces whizzed around my mind. I couldn't hurt them. I wouldn't let myself.

~*~

I saw a bright white light. To my right, I saw a tube sticking out of my arm, connected to a heart monitor. Great. I hadn't succeeded; I was in hospital. I closed my eyes once more and cried. I turned to my left; Mikey, Frank, Ray and Gerard sat next to me.  

"Heather? Oh my God, you're awake! Thank God!" Gerard sighed.

His beautiful hazel eyes -which looked deep brown at first, but when the light hit them, you could see the emerald flashes around the pupil- were puffy and red from crying. His divine black hair, which usually whooshed over his face, was now pushed back over his head with worry. His angelic features were so gentle and feminine; he did not look 25, he looked much younger. He always laughed when he heard this. 'Like Peter Pan!' he would joke, but now he wasn't joking. His face was distraught.  I looked at all their faces: shock, relief, a whole bunch of emotions could be read from them.

"Why'd you do it?" Mikey whimpered, glancing at my arm then back at my face.

His deep hazel eyes, like his elder brother's, were sore and slightly swollen from crying. His long, brown hair was swept to the side, scruffily, and the rims of his glasses emphasised the sadness in his eyes. Ray went and got a nurse. He was one of the most amazing guys I'd ever had the privledge to know. His insane afro was definitely his distinguishing feature; As soon as you saw the afro, you knew who it was: Ray. His engaging brown eyes understood more than what was told to him.

"I-I had to. I couldn't h-hurt you guys." I blubbered to my friends.

"How'd you hurt us? The only time you've hurt me is when you did that!" Frank glared at my slashed arm, which I realised had multiple stiches in it. "You've only hurt me when I found you lying on your bathroom floor in a pool of your own blood. That hurt me."

Frank was angry with me; he hated me. His black hair, which had the sides shaved off and dyed blonde, flopped over his face, as he faced the floor. I couldn't see his usual vibrant green eyes. Usually, he would always look at me, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay, but this time, he didn't do that. The nurse walked in with Ray. Her long brown hair was tied back into a ponytail and her deep brown eyes were ones I knew I could trust; she couldn't have been much older than 30.

"Hi Heather. I'm Nurse Quinn. I've been looking after you." She smiled at me.

"Hi..." I sat up in bed, wiping my tears with my good arm.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I'll be fine."

"Heather..." She sighed "You've lost a lot of blood and you're only 17. I think you should talk to someone. Anyone."

"I have my friends." As I said this, Frank stormed out and Gerard went after him. 

"What about your family?" The nurse seemed to be unaware of them leaving.  

"Erm... they aren't around." I stared at the door where my friends exited from.

Truth is, I ran away from home when I was 16 and I've been living by myself ever since. I ran away because my parents used abuse me, physically and emotionally. They would make me do everything for them: cook, clean, shop, everything, whilst they drank themselves to death.

"A therapist maybe...?" Nurse Quinn asked me.

"No, I have my friends. They're all I need." I looked down at my arm.

"Okay... Well, I'll be back in a few minutes to check on you." She smiled at me and left.

"Where'd Frank go? And Gerard?" I panicked to my remaining friends.

"I think Frank just needs to cool down. Gerard will have just gone to make sure he doesn't go and do something stupid." Ray answered me.

"Does he hate me?" I choked up.

"No, of course not. He's your best friend, as are we, he's doesn't hate you." Mikey replied, holding my hand.

"To be honest, I don't think he could hate you, even if he wanted to." Ray muttered.

"I hope he doesn't..." I sighed, clutching Mikey's hand. I yawned.

"Why don't you sleep, if you're tired?" Mikey asked.

"I think I might..." I yawned again. "Just don't leave. Please?"

I looked in his amazing hazel eyes, surrounded by his glasses. "Of course I won't." He squeezed my hand and smiled, soothingly.

"Thanks..." I closed my eyes and slept again.