I though I found a new me
I though I did something right for once
Just now recognizing the reflection which was buried underneath lies
I didn't see pain or see hurt
I saw happiness!!!
I never really experience happiness only for it to be taken away
It's amazing how we leave problems unsolved and words unsaid
Only for the things which you have been running from
finally catch up with you
As I heard the echo of my name grow louder and louder ...
I knew there was no turning back
Whatever was approaching through the dark shadows of the walkway I had to be ready for it
And through the light there it was ...HELLO DUTCHESS
I wish I had some type of cheerful story to tell
but unfortunately this is just my life.
I guess you can say I was born for a purpose
so this is my story...
As I look a upon the clouds
I wonder why GOD gave me this lifestyle of betrayal,deception,and distress.
Why was it me he choose
I guess it was the cloth which I was cut from
As I tried to pictures this perfect family in my head just makes it more impossible to see how that might feel .
My dad was never in the pictures and some how my mom slowly disappeared ..
but with the emptiness
my grandma stood there to try and fill it all with love
She was the only person who showed me affection when everything else I knew was tremendously full of hate ...
My name is Dutchess and ever since my mother left me when I was 7
I stayed with my Grandma in Atlanta ,Georgia
I was too young to understand the reason why my mother abandoned me
but now I'm 15 and I wasn't no little girl no more
I demanded answers
Why didn't she come and visit ?
How did she lose everything we ever had ?
Why couldn't she love me like my grandma did ?
All the confusion that surrounded my mine leaving me with no guidance
Only for the discomfort and pain which found its way in me.
There was no yellow brick road for me to follow
my mother turned all that into cracks that faded you into nothing
Well I wasn't gonna be known for nothing...
people were gonna know who I was
I was no longer the person who was running from bullets
but the person who held the gun
I was no longer afraid of fear but fear was afraid of me
I tried to be something that my grandma could smile about
only becoming something that made her weakened
I was no longer living my own life but walking in the footsteps of my mom...
