Freak // Ryllon

one

"You got a cigarette?" Ryan asks as he sits down on the edge of the platform next to Dallon. Dallon grabs two, puts one in between his lips, then hands one to Ryan. Ryan grabs his silver lighter and lights it, inhaling enough to get it to stay lit. Dallon does the same and they put their items in their pockets, Ryan 

They watch the city in silence; teenagers driving in their cars, drunks stumbling out of the bar, couples sneaking out to go to diners or have sex in their cars, and Ryan and Dallon watch it all from a high stack of thick wood in some junkyard on the outskirts of town. Watching the world before it happens.

Ryan looks over at the blue-eyed boy, shuffling slightly. Chills run up his spine and he brings the cigarette back up. He inhales, turns his head, then looks down and exhales.

Dallon looks at him, then frowns slightly. He cares for Ryan more than he'd ever show. If he showed exactly how much care he had then he'd be considered gay and Ryan would get creeped out, therefore he'll never let it out. Trap it in his perplex mind along with all of the times he's thought of Ryan at wrong times.

"You good, Ross?" Dallon asks, then takes another hit. He blows out the smoke as Ryan shrugs, Dallon frowning a bit more.

"Don't wanna go home," Ryan lies and Dallon nods; he knows his living situation. They both raise their cigarettes to their lips and continue this for a good 15 minutes, no words exchanged, it's pure silence. Dallon throws his dead cigarette down to the ground 10 feet below.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow. Be ready, Ross," Dallon says, standing. He ruffles Ryan's wavy brown hair and walks off, jumping to another platform before going down to the ground. Ryan lays back and looks at the stars.

Throughout his whole life Ryan was raised with the thought of boys liking boys is wrong. He's made fun of people who were gay, laughing at their lifestyle as he holds a girl close by her waist, but then one day Dallon rolled over in his sleep and suddenly him and Ryan were spooning. Every single sense in him broke at that moment and he could no longer think with a normal mind. He tried to tell himself he was only uncomfortable, but he can't help but recognize how nice it felt for Dallon to unconsciously pull him closer and hold him throughout the night.

He puts out the cigarette, deciding he's had enough. With every hit he felt as if he thought of the tall boy more and more. He's fallen into a deep wave of danger since that night, repeatedly thinking of how he could feel Dallon's heartbeat, how Dallon's arms held Ryan close like his life depended on it, how he snuggled his face into Ryan's neck, his lips and hot breath on Ryan's skin, it gives him chills. He thought that him running from the cops and sneaking cigarettes into school was dangerous, but he was wrong. Dangerous is developing feelings for your best friend who's the same gender as you. Being gay is not acceptable, everyone knows that.

Ryan takes a deep breath, mind clouded with the intoxicating thought of Dallon. He sits up after a long time, knowing his dad is most likely asleep now, and moves over to the other end of the platform. It's dark, maybe midnight. He's tired either way. Doesn't matter if it's 4PM or 4AM, he's exhausted.

Ryan jumps off the platform but the second his feet meet the ground, he stumbles and falls to the ground. He tries to catch himself by reaching his arm out but his wrist lands harshly and he hisses in pain. He pushes himself up.

"Fuck," he mutters. He rubs it a bit, feeling around for any cuts or scratches. He tries to shake it off, shoving his hand in his pocket, but the sharp pain hurts more than anything. He ignores it, not daring to show any sign of pain as he walks all the way back to his house.