When I was born, my life was full of joy for a few years. This ended when my younger Sister was born. I was around 3 years old when she was born. At age 4 my mother had another child but she died before she could even get the chance to grow up. My life turned to crap when I was having my 6th birthday party on the fourth of May 2008. My younger sisters father slit the throat of a dog. it scarred me for life, it even ruined a friendship. Some days I just wish that I could forget that stuff but it haunts me to this day. Ever since then I have been dealing with a lot of things. my mental health only went downhill after that birthday. for ten years now, I have been bullied sand neglected. Most nights I just lay in bed thinking about how pointless my existence is.
I am now 16 and I have tried to commit suicide 25 times. My days on this Earth haven't been filled with happiness at all. I'm always saying sorry for mistakes that I never made. Life is terrible and I know this from firsthand experience. My own mother hates me, its pathetic in all honesty. I can never please everyone no matter how hard I try to. at this point I'm just saying what is on my mind. I will never be able to understand why I get hatred from my own family. I'm fed up with being treated like absolute shit. Music Is my escape from reality. Hell, I have even written a couple of rap songs because of the pain I feel everyday.
The pain I suffer is unbearable but I somehow manage it by smiling. My mother treats me like crap and it makes me feel like I'm crap. I'm a human being who has feelings and yet she discards those feelings and acts as if I'm an object. I was raised to please people like a slave. I just want to be happy but yet she denies that to me so I moved out! I'm gonna live my life the way I want to and actually be happy. She controls me and I wanna break free from that so I can be who I want to be and do what I wanna do in life but yet she is upset that I'm actually growing up and becoming a person.
