Forever Yours

Bliss and Stupidity [19]

"We have all the time in the world."

"Sure we do." I crossed my arms.

"So..." Ryan stretched out on his side, propping his head on his hand. I tried to keep the dirty look on my face, but I found myself smiling instead. He grinned, as if he could read my thoughts like words on a paper and knew that I was presently incapable of being upset with him.

"I think it's time you tell me about your family."

At the word family, I felt an uncomfortable stab of guilt run the length of me, puncturing the bubble of euphoria Ryan's words had conjured up.

My family, indeed. My parents.

I'd never disobeyed any of the rules before; now I knew I was treading unchartered waters. I licked my lips, wanting to dismiss the guilt like I would dismiss a buzzing fly in my ear, but it persisted, turning my stomach over.

I have to talk to them, I thought reluctantly. I can't keep lying to them...

"Maureen?"

I tried to smile at Ryan, but I suspected the pasty, sick upturning of my mouth looked more like a grimace than a smile. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"I said I think it's time you tell me about your family."

"Right." I was quiet for a minute as I fought off the niggling pricks of shame poking at my conscience. When I thought I'd silenced them completely, I smiled more brightly. "Well... there's Lauren." I told him. "She's married and she lives in Nevada with her husband. He's a cowboy."

"She was allowed to date?" Ryan joked and just like that, my sick smile was back.

"Well... we all knew Fred... He went to our church and sat two pews over. Dad watched him and Lauren get to know one another and the day that Lauren asked Dad if they could start seeing one another - well, by then, Fred was almost a part of the family and Dad liked him... it was different."

Ryan's expression was unreadable. "Well. Do you think..."

"What?"

"Do you think... should I talk to your dad?" Ryan asked slowly.

I tried not to show my horror for the idea. "Before he's gotten to know you? Before he even knows who you are?"

Ryan's eyebrows went up. "I take it that'd be a bad idea."

"Well, yeah," I laughed shakily. "Cara once started talking about this boy she liked - some guy she'd met at some party... it didn't go too well, believe me."

"I'd have to kiss up to them first, wouldn't I?"

"I guess so... but - but how? I mean... what's the excuse for pulling my limo driver in for dinner?"

Ryan shrugged. "I guess there isn't one. And I'm not some good ol' cowboy sitting in church, so what do I have going for me?"

I softened when I noticed the almost defensive look in his eyes and leaned over, pressing my lips to his. "You have a lot going for you, believe me." I smiled and Ryan's mouth quirked up a little. "It's just a matter of..." I trailed off, trying to find the diplomatic term for it - I was pulling a blank. "You know..."

It's just that we're like night and day. We come from different worlds. I'm only seventeen. I had to lie a lot to get to this point. That wasn't the greatest start to this relationship...

"How about we just forget about it for now?" He said lightly, caressing my hair back over my shoulder. "I mean," he lifted his shoulder in a shrug. "Maybe we just want to keep this secret. They don't have to know. I mean... you're a big girl. You can make your own decisions... right?"