Unknown Factors (Book One)

Ch.66: Then we will see the vampire (vampire)

  "Well, you came in at the perfect time. Ready for a bold suggestion?" Willow smiled. "Blow it off." She glanced at Buffy, so I assumed she was saying that to whatever had been said before I walked in. "Dawnie and I are headed out to The Bronze."

  "Do I have your permission and wanna come along?" Dawn gave the Slayer a huge grin while nervously fiddling with her hands. "Heh, you like how I slipped in that permission request like that?"

  "Very smooth." Willow nodded.

  "You guys go." Buffy softly smiled at Dawn.

  "Really?"

  "Buffy, are you sure? I-It might do you good to get away from the Doublemeat lifestyle for a night. See friends." Willow slightly tilted her head while smiling.

  "Who'd love to see you." Dawn added.

  "I've seen enough action for one day. Home by 11." Buffy stated while looking at her little sister.

  "On the dot."

  "What about you, Aud?" Willow turned to me.

  "That place is driving me bonkers, please take me with you." I replied, but they didn't quite get how much truth to that sentence there was. I didn't have much of a choice but to work there, but after being there for so long, I was finally understanding what Spike had told me about that place. I really didn't belong there- it made me feel cramped and as if I had no room to stretch out. Honestly, I wanted to blame my demon half for this because with the hours upon hours spent in that rancid kitchen, none of the vast energy I had was being spent.

  Except for the seldom breaks I spent fucking Spike, and I hated to admit that.

  "All right, let's go!"

~

  At The Bronze, we ended up seeing Anya and Xander, but they were busy stressing over the seating arrangements for the wedding. The human male was downing a large bag of chips, no doubt from the nerves, and the ex-demon seemed about just as fidgety.

  Unlike those two, I hit the dance floor. I didn't care what music was playing, I just needed to let loose and forget about everything for the night. Forget about work, forget about Tara being gone, forget about demons, and most importantly, forget about everything with Spike.

  Day after day as our....what would one even call this? We weren't a couple, nor were we secret 'lovers' of any sort. It was confusing. It was complex. Either way, as our 'intimate' encounters continued, I was finding myself more and more perplexed by not only myself but Spike as well.

  I still didn't know whether to believe if vampires could honestly love or not, whether it was the genuine kind or the dark and twisted kind or even at all, but Tara had said that Spike did love me. However, I didn't know how I really felt toward that man in return.

  The things I did know were my feelings of disgust at the evil he had done, but he didn't do much of that anymore because of the chip. I also knew that both my friends and family hated him to varying degrees with the exception of Dawn, who seemed to view the blond as a sort of friend. I didn't know how I should feel about that either....

  Point was....I didn't want to be using him. I didn't want to be taking advantage of him, only being that close to him simply because of the way he could make me feel.

  Dancing. I should be dancing. 'Stop thinking, stop remembering, just....dance.' I thought and let the rhythm lead me as the loud bass reverberated deep in my bones.

  Thump, thump. Thump. Thump.

  The music was like a living, breathing thing with the drums as the beat of its heart. I was surrounded by the swaying and pulsing bodies of all the humans also on the dance floor, and the scents and sounds were enough to distract me. I was vaguely aware of Dawn and Willow also nearby for a while before they left to take a break and grab a drink, but I stayed on the dance floor instead of following them.