About me

idk a rant not a bad one tho

so i wanna go on a rant rip its not a bad one but oof read if you wanna

Okay so honestly i have a huge problem (this is the only negative part of this) with people who complain about something but don't do anything to fix it, like honey if that person is toxic leave them, don't wanna be friends with that person just walk away, tired of someone saying something just tell them not to and if they don't listen be done, nobody asks you to dance?? FUCKING ASK SOMEONE YOURSELF. 

But oof okay so like god there is a mindset that you can learn about in psychcology called the fixed mindset and so many people i see and talk to are in that mindset, where nothing is ever their fault and everything bad in their life is someone elses fault and they never take responsabilty for their own actions of missfortunes, they always have an excuse for being overweight, for being sad, for being in a bad spot in life. When you just gotta pick yourself up, suck it up and move the hell on and try and make your life better because YOU are responsible for the change, no one else. 

One thing i have learned in my life is you chose to be upset, offended, sad and angry. Nobody makes you that way, its how you react to them that makes you feel that way but if you make a concious decision not to react you won't and you won't feel those bad negative emotions anymore and god you gotta try, like fuck i know trying is hard but if you say its to hard and nothing is ever working and your a failure, boo those are excuses and excuses are bullshit coated in powdered sugar and they aren't going to get you anywhere. You can't keep blaming your life on other people, stop fucking blaming someone for you being unhappy and say "im going to be the bigger person and not let this drag me down and make me upset im going to move on" because if you get stuck in that mindset that everything is someone elses fault and THEIR respondible for you being put down or sad or upset. Then your going to live a very sad and unfufilling life.

And another thing, when your thinking about your mental health problems (or really any problems) don't refer to it as "My anxiety" or "My depression" because then you are claiming it and your brain is saying its yourself forever now and its a subconcious thing but if you start saying "The depression" or "The anxiety" your brain will start disconnecting from it and your telling your brain, that you don't want it and its not yours. And its the same thing with positive and negative self thinking, rn most of our brains are stuck in the "im not good enough" or "everyone hates me mindset" And you can change that, you have to make a real conciouse effort that when your in the middle of one of those thoughts you gotta think "Wait i am good enough, i have a cute smile and im sarcastic and funny and make good dad jokes" or "yeah that person might hate me but oof i have cool friends and yeet im okay alone"

Also oof another very important lesson i have learned in my life is  how to be okay with being alone, i always wanted friends because they made me feel less lonely and happier but god i went through about a solid year when i have NO friends and when i say none im not exadgerating i had absolutley no friends and was miserable for a long time but then i started sucking it up and thinking that this isn't so bad and maybe this is to teach me a lesson and god ya know as soon as i stopped being sad and upset about it and jealous of other people for having friends my life got blessed with my 3 amazing irl best friends a whole number of online friends including my wonderful boyfriend whom is just god amazing. And oof looking back i learned how to be okay being alone and having no friends and how happy doing things like watching tv and reading and going on runs made me and god its just happy and now i honestly need time alone because i loved that time so much once i accepted it.

also oof, don't get into a relationship if you are in constant need of reasurring and you are easily hurt, offended or have extreme manic mood drops because your relationship could very quickly become toxic because your asking to much of your partner and they could be struggling to but be to scared to say anything about it. like how can you expect to have a happy healthy relationship if you aren't happy and healthy, a relationship requires a good foundation (aka the people) And if you aren't good in mind right now you aren't going to be a strong foundation. So work on yourself for a bit and make yourself better and improve how you see yourself and what a healthy way to ask for help is and what being toxic is because the last thing you want to do is hurt someone else because they can't help you.

Another important thing is knowing how horrible it feels to open up if you've been lying about your mental health for a long time (wether that be to a therapist, parents, friends, or S/O) Its going to hurt because you became comfortable in the lie and what it felt like and you were okay with that and it became routine and you just were used to that, so telling someone can make you drop because you feel vulnerable and out in the open and thats okay, you just have to reasure yourself that what you did was the right thing to get you on the track of feeling better and that feeling of shame or uncomfortableness or pain will pass and you will be okay again.

Also, there is no such thing as failure. What you think is a failure is merely a setback on your road to recovery. A relapse, a bad thought, not being able to tell someone everything. Those aren't a failure and just because those things happen doesn't mean you lose all the progress you had made because you are always learning and always growing and just because you might do one of those things or not be able to do something doesn't mean your worthless or a failure it just means your trying, what you think is a failure is merely showing that you are trying.

the world isn't out to get you, not everyone hates you, you aren't the cause of everyones problems. Those things aren't true, oof because honey to the world you aren't special and oof it isn't out to get you no matter how much you think it is, because it doesn't care about you honestly. People in your life do care about you but the whole world doesn't. And i know thats a harsh thing to say but its true. And not everyone hates you, you think they do but they really done like yeah some people in your life will hate you but everyone has someone who hates them its just the way of life but you aren't hated by everyone no matter what you see or think. And you aren't the cause of everyones problems, like yeah it seems like it but oof you aren't because yeah you made your mom cry but she's crying because she cares, yeah someone has to spend on money on you because something happened, but oof thats just how it goes and you can't change that.

people who get easily offended aren't really going to many great places, like you chose to be offended honey and while its okay to get offended when someone insults certain things (its up t you to chose those things) its really petty and stupid to get offended when someone misspells your name or gets your order wrong. That makes you seem stupid and petty and just like life is filled with so many problems bigger than that, pick your battles.

god i could keep going but oof this is already really long

maybe i'll do another one sometime