Later on I was told that dinner going to be ready in 15 mins
My hands were covered in paint my dress and denim jacket also both had a bit of paint
I didn't look presentable at all
And my grandfather would scold me later on about it
About how a lady should dress and then he'd exaggerate
My grandfather was very old fashion and he was very old but didn't quit look like his age at all
He looked much younger than he was this made me question how old is my mate werewolf's ages were a bit complicated when you turn 21 you have to wait for five years until you turn 22 its the same process until you die
Decide on wearing black flexibility tights and a black top on with sandals on
Not putting any make up on and leaving my hair in the high ponytail it was going to be a lot of work if I rebrush it my hair was very long even in a high ponytail it reached the lower area between my butt and knees
I've heard Belle say I had the same long hair as my mom
And my mother inherited her beautiful hair from her mom and so on it was a hair cycle how weird
And my father also had similar eyes to mine
Apart from my eyes I was a spitting image of my mother
So I decided to leave my hair as it is and go down for dinner
After going down some hallways I finally stood in front of the dinning hearing chatter go inside
Damn why did I have to be late now they going to look at me when I enter deciding to get this over with I enter closing the door behind me
My grandfather sat at the head of the table Jax on his right and the opposite seat from Jax which was on the left was left vacant all other seats were occupied by the Alpha's and their Luna's
I made my way to the only seat left and sat down
The different servants came with different kinds of food placing it on the long grand table and finally everyone eating conversations were being held and Jax was the only quit one there was a Luna sat next to me her name was Emily and she was mated to Alpha Malcolm and he ruled the Full moon pack they were trying to get a baby she talks a lot
"You know we should go shopping together it would be fun and since you'll be becoming a new Luna you'll probably need someone to hang with but it doesn't have to me though " Emily said sounding a bit insecure at the end
"Yea that would be fun but I don't think I'll be becoming a Luna so soon I want to take everything slow"
I heard a low growl coming from the opposite seat from mine Jax was listening I guess there's no privacy on the dinning table
During the whole time I was having dinner his gaze was on me Emily made sure I knew of that I could feel it burning my skin I wanted to look at him badly
But I didn't want to be caught in those forest green eyes it took so much self control to look away
My were shaking and burning from the inside
I knew what this meant it only meant one thing my wolf was trying to gain control she wanted to look at her mate
She was very strange I disliked how she could manipulate me my own wolf playing games with me
By doing this to my body she knew I would give in because my main purposes was to hide my powers from the world soon flames would immerge from my hands if I didn't look at him or get out of this room
I know what you could be thinking right now I should just look at him no can't do what if I look at him and something happens and I can't control my wolf she was a back stabbing bitch to me she apparently protected us in weird ways she never listened to me I never listened to her she left me when I needed her the most hiding in the darkest corners if my mind
She was as scared as I was or more
But I needed her and she wasn't there I only depended on her and she wasn't there for me to give me assurness so again we never got along for some unknown reason
So I quickly got up and excused myself walking fast towards the door that wasn't walking it was like the fast walking of a vampire one of my other powers my own body and abilities were a wonder to myself
I hope no one noticed but I know Jax did without even looking at him I knew his eyes were on me the whole time I felt things without him even touching me even with the slightest gaze I knew this mate bond felt powerful
I've never felt like this the loneliness was there but it was so bad the 3 emotions that I felt all my life were melting away like scattered ice cubes on a sunny day
What was this man doing to me what witch craft was he using because this was not how Alice felt it felt good I felt good I liked it I liked it when he looked but my mind was telling me to forget it was telling me its not real but my heart told a different story
Follow your heart most would say or quotes would right but I know its all in your mind this so called 'love' how does your hurt feel when its bumping blood through your veins how does a thing in your body feel when its main purposes is to keep you alive
Its all in the mind your mind is the master of your body
So my mind gave me too options at least I get to pick
Its either I run something that my mind keeps on telling me
Or I follow my body language that graves for Jax
Slipping out if the dinning room doors I make a dash for it running like my life depends on it scared that I'll run back to him scared that I'll get caught up in a storm a never ending one maybe I'm a coward or maybe I'm protected myself from an unwanted breakdown
Because only god knows his many times I've had breakdowns I hate the feeling of vunerbility of helplessness feeling like that bring back unwanted memories unwanted secrets unwanted tears
And I'm back in my safe heaven looking out my balcony that overlooks the dark forest
