Karma's A Bitch

1. Coffee Times Ten

Some days, humanity is the most incompetent race on the planet. Sure dogs will bark at lone plastic bags sitting in the gutter, and deer will scare themselves sneezing. But I will never understand humans. They wander by my seat in the cafe in droves. Some will stare at their phone, as if their life support system is attached to it. Possibly it is, but it's always hilarious irony when one of them walks out into traffic while staring at their glowing screen and they are no more than a milimeter away from being crushed by a truck. Three times today as I sat on my pleather bar stool watching the world go by, a split up couple met here. All three met there to beg their departed lover to take them back, apologizing and saying they would change. I know they will change as much as the stones of the sidewalk. Two times out of three, the other took them back, saying words of understanding. The other one looked down on their pathetic cheating parter and defiantly refused them, with tears in the formers eyes. I then walked by, and with a brush if my finger on a coat, a reunion with an old friend would happen. Good karma for standing up to someone who hurt, and then tried to apologize for something they weren't sorry for. A to go cup of bitter coffee in hand, I step out of the cafe. Humanity hurries by me, anxious to get somewhere, to do something, to be someone. Then one of them barrels into me, on wheels, spilling my hot coffee down my shirt. The culprit is already standing, skateboard in hand. He looks down at my shirt, mutters a half apology, and speeds off. His skateboard immediately hits a rock, and I watch in quiet satisfaction as he flies off his skateboard and hits the ground. His friends laugh at him as he picks himself up. I hear one of them taunt "karma" in his face.
Yup, that's me.