guilt and desire (An Abdl edgeberry book)

Chapter two: Wakings

:Edge's POV::
I wake to murmuring around me, my vision slowly coming back. I feel a surge of pain rack my body, and a strained scream come from my mouth. "He's awake!" I hear someone say. I need to get out of here! I try to get up, only to be greeted with even worse pain. I fall onto the floor, curling up in a ball and crying. "Are you okay!?" I hear I voice ask. It sounds like... Sans. I look over, "S-Sans?" I barely whimper out. My vision is greeted with a person that looks like Sans , but nothing like him at the same time. "I'm sorry, but I'm not your Sans." He says. I look away from him. My tears swell, falling faster. "Here, let me help you back onto the couch!" He says. Despite our size differences, he picks me up with relative ease. I feel my cheeks flush a light red. He lays me back onto the couch, covering me with a thick quilt. "There! Isn't that better than the floor?" He asks. I nod, agreeing that it indeed felt better than the cold, hard floor. "He's in worse state than I thought." I hear another voice say. I look over to see two other people. Undyne wearing a lab coat, a mew mew kissy cutie shirt, and a pair of sweatpants. And a skeleton that looks like me, but like the other one, also nothing at all like me. "You can say that again." The skeleton says. "W-who are you?" I ask, scared. And Dispite my best attempts, I can't hide that fact. "My name is the magnificent Blue! This is my brother Papy, and our Friend Doctor Undyne! Do not be afraid, none of us intend on hurting you!" The Sans lookalike says. "If you don't mind me asking, what's your name? "I-I am the great and terrible papyrus!" I say as confident as I Can in my situation. Something flashes over the orange hooded skeleton, who I presume is Papy, and he looks at me with his eye-lights glowing angrily. I shrink, being even more scared. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Blue notices and follows my gaze to Papy. "Papy stop your scaring him!" Blue yells at him. This 'Papy' sighs and calms down. "Alright alright. Sorry." He says, though I don't feel like he means it. Doctor Undyne gives Blue two bottles of prescription pills. "Make sure he takes these twice every day until the bottles are empty, and after that he is to come to me for a checkup to see if he needs more." Blue nods. "Okay! Will do!" She also adds " And don't forget to call me if anything go's wrong, ok blue?" He smiles, holding the bottles. "Oki doki! Bye Undyne, I hope you have a safe trip back to the hotlands. Merry Christmas!" And with that, Undyne leaves. And with her leaving, comes the questions. "Where are you from Edge?" Asks blue "Edge?" He notices my confusion. "Oh! It's a nickname I made for you. Do you like it?" I blush and nod. Blue and Papy ask me alot of questions. Most of them being about how I got some of my scars, and how I got here in the first place. "Can you tell me where the burn marks on your pelvis came from?" Papy asks me. I shudder at the memory , wishing now that I hadn't agreed to it then. I had decided to go to Chillby's to try their food, as sans had asked me before all of this started. No body was there but the bartender and owner of the place, Chillby. He noticed the shape I was in and smirked, I'm guessing he was getting turned on from the fact of how helpless and depressed I looked. He said a set of words that surged my bones with hope. Words I had been waiting for ever since Sans died. "He isn't dead ya know. I know where he is too." "Tell me! I demand you tell me!" "Heheheh. Not gunna tell ya, unless you're willin ta pay the price~ Heheheh" He said those last words so disgustingly lewd, that I knew exactly what he meant. And I actually was willing to pay the price, I was at the brink of doing anything to find Sans. Even let my body be used in so many disgusting ways. I let him do it, and it went on for a month. Three days before Christmas, he decided to tell me. "I lied, he's dead. Merry Christmas Doll~ I had so much fun with you~" I felt every little bit of hope that still clung to me rush out of my body, leaving me nothing... I killed him right on the spot, choking him until he was nothing but a pile of ashes on the ground. I spent those last three days planning my suicide. Cutting deeply, letting the blood seep from my arms. And then, in Christmas day, my plan was complete. I climbed up to the cliff top, wearing my favorite outfit. If I was going to die, I was going to die wearing the outfit that I always wished I could wear without fear of being made fun of and killed. And Sans's collar. The dogs that killed Sans had a slow and painful death, a death I greatly enjoyed. I look down at myself now, seeing my naked body underneath a blanket. They put my clothes in the wash, I'm hoping. I feel tears come to my eyes as I come back to reality. "Did I hit a triggering topic?" He asks. This is the first time someone has asked me something like that. I nod, wiping my eyes. "Sorry." He says simply, seeming much more genuine. Suddenly, my non-existent stomach growls, making me blush. Blue quickly gets up, smiling. "You must be hungry! I'm going to go to the kitchen and make some breakfast. Ok?" I nod, "Okay. Thank you..." He smiles and leaves to the kitchen. Papy stands up, "I'll be back in a few." He says, before disappearing. Strange, but I don't question it. It's their house. I look around at my surroundings. It looks exactly like my old house, but much more colorful and with less dust and broken furniture. I notice rainbow lights coming from a corner in the room. It's a Christmas tree. Underneath it are unopened presents with bright colorful wrappers. It's Christmas... I feel tears come to my eyes, memories filling my mind. I've only celebrated Christmas a few times before, and that was only because I was so young. Now, I'm too old for Christmas. They say that celebrating things other than the death of your rivals makes you weak. And anyone who is considered weak.... Is killed. But I remember how fun Christmas was. I remember the warm tingly feeling it gave. I look back at the presents. None of them are for me, I don't deserve one Anyway... Why would I deserve one? I caused sans so much pain... I feel my tears falling heavily, but I don't reach to stop them. It feels good to cry after holding it in for so long. I lay my head back onto the arm rest, relaxing. I don't deserve anything. The only thing I truly deserve is the pain I caused Sans. I start to scratch my arms, wanting to make them bleed. Wanting to make the blood seep through the scratches and leave my bones with nothing. I want my pain to leave with the blood, to have everything leave but the nice memories and the happy feelings. But that wouldn't leave me with enough blood to live... Though should I care? I stop my scratching, feeling satisfied. I curl up in a ball, unconsciously putting my thumb in my mouth. I can tell I'm not in a dangerous place anymore. I'm not at that twisted version of home. I honestly don't know where I am, but I'm not there and that's all that matters. I'm safe... Safe... Such a rare thing to feel... I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it! I claw at my skull, my tears spilling like a broken faucet. I choke back sobs, not wanting to alert the skeleton in the other room. After what feels like an hour of crying, I start to calm down. In place of the sobs trying to exit my mouth, is annoying hiccuping. God I'm a mess...

I lay still for some time, feeling myself trying to fall asleep. But I fought back, not wanting to fall asleep. If I fell asleep, I would most likely have a nightmare and wet myself, and I don't want that at all. They think I'm weak enough already! I sigh, now's not the time to be weak... "Edge, I'm finished making breakfast! Where's Papy?" Blue says as he walks in the room. I shrug, "D-Don't know. He said he'd be right back." I reply. I look over to the food in blue's hands, my mouth watering. I don't care what it is, I'm starving! I haven't ate in such a long time! "He's probably checking on red. I'll go get them." He says, giving me the plate in his hands along with a fork. "Here you go, I hope you like it!" I nod, thanking him. He walks upstairs, leaving me alone. I scarf down the food given to me, not even stopping to taste it. I feel my magic strengthen, getting rid of some of the pain. I try to get up, smiling when I'm successful. I slowly make my way into the kitchen, wincing in pain with each step. I make it there, and put the plate in the sink, confused by the size of it. It's so short! I make it back to the living room, nearly collapsing when I lay back down. I pant, exhausted. I had to use almost all my magic to do that. Suddenly, I hear a door open upstairs....

"B-Boss?"