The Third Wheel BxB (Old + new versions)

OLD VERSION Bonus Chapter

KYLE'S POV

I knew they were waiting for me to talk, but they did not show any signs of impatience, and I was feeling grateful towards my mates for being so understanding. Opening up might have become easier over the years, but it was still quite challenging to me. Maybe because I had spent most of my life hiding, or maybe because there were so many things from my past I wasn't proud of. I felt that many people just loved to talk about themselves, and would do so for hours if they found someone willing to listen. As for me, it was just a scary experience, because I did not have much to be proud of to begin with.

" I swear it's the first time in my life I'm being so needy, guys, and I hate it. Needy is never sexy, but I can't pretend anymore, I have been left on my own for so long and - "

"Oh, trust me, needy can be sexy" Nate quipped.

"Shut up, Nate. Don't interrupt" Darren intervened sternly.

"Thank you, Dar. Like I said, I never allowed myself to appear needy before, not even towards Alex, who was my only friend".

I could feel my mates tensing up when I mentionned my former friend, but continued nonetheless.

"I thought that if I was being too affectionate, then I would end up even more alone than I already was. It's a social rule: you have to pretend to have many friends. If you are too much of an outcast, then at least you need to make people believe that you don't mind being alone, or else you will just appear plainly pathetic. I thought that if I kept up a brave front, people would be impressed and maybe they would want to be my friends. It never worked, obviously".

Nate's eyes were shiny at this point and I felt Darren's comforting hand on my lower back, giving me the strenght to continue my miserable little tale.

"Everyone fell for it. People thought I was better left on my own, even you guys. You were so happy to be in love and I did not want to ruin your happiness by being the whiny friend you constantly need to worry about. I realised I couldn't be happy for you if I weren't part of your happiness, and I knew I was being selfish. I started becoming obnoxious towards both of you because I wanted what I could not have, and it hurted. So I thought, maybe it would be easier if we weren't friends anymore".

I took a deep breath and looked up at Nate. Now I was getting to the hardest part.

"Nate, can we talk about... you know... that night?"

He tensed up but then gave me a reassuring smile. "Of course, love. We will always be willing to listen to you".

"Actually, I already told you how the suppressants were having a huge impact on my behaviour - even though I know it's not an excuse. You have said you forgave me but you never talked about it either, so I thought maybe you were still mad at me. Of course I understand you wouldn't want to talk about it with ME. Oh God, now I'm reminding you bad memories and I'm sorry I'm - "

"Kyle, it's enough" Nate told me quietly, interrupting my rambling. He took my hand in his and gave a gentle kiss on my knuckles, before continuing.

"You're right, I never talked about it in front of you, because I knew how guilty you felt about it. I won't lie to you, I had nightmares about that night for quite a long time. It was one of the scariest experience of my life".

It would be hypocritical for me to tell Nate to please stop talking, but I really wanted him to stop. I already knew he suffered a lot because of me, but it killed me to hear him say it out loud. I said Nothing, though, because I wanted him to talk freely about it and I needed to be reminded of how I did not deserve a mate like him.

"However" he added, "I have decided - we have decided - to forgive you, and nothing will make us ever change our mind. You should know by now that we don't forgive easily,as we have been real assholes to you. But I understand the reasons you gave us - and anyways, you were a scared and lonely teen at that time. I believe everyone should be given second chances, and I also know that my pain was nothing compared to yours. We haven't be the loyal friends we should have been, either. We did not even noticed you were struggling at home, because we were selfish teenagers so engrossed with each other we tended to forget about the rest of the world".