CHAPTER ONE
Hidden Identities
*Footsteps and bad whistling/singing/humming*
Charles Perkins: Doo doo doo, lalala, mmm, mmm, LAAAA!
Jane Perkins: Please, easy on the eardrums, stop with the horrid sounds!
CP: DOO DOO DOO! LALALA! MMM! MMM! LAAAA!
JP: You’re CHOKING?! Here, let me do the Heimlich on you.
*Choking noise*
*Gargling noise*
*Vomiting noise*
*Gasping noise*
JP: Are you okay? You were choking!
CP: Not until you rudely came up to me and started hugging me so tight that I vomited!
JP: It’s called the Heimlich Maneuver.
CP: You’re called the Heimlich Maneuver!
JP: No, I’m called Jane!
CP: My mom is named Jane!
JP: And what are you named?
CP: Ooh, little girl in Joe Biden mask tries to kill me and asks my name. Interesting new form of flirting, Jane.
JP: Your voice sounds familiar…
CP: Yeah, so does yours…
JP: Is your name… Charlie? Charlie Perkins?
CP: Yeah… MOM! You’re so weird!
JP: Yeah… And CHARLES! You’re so grounded!
CP: Aw, crap. How long?
JP: The rest of your life.
CP: Screw you.
JP: I’m adding another year!
CP: NOOOOO! Don’t ground me and my Obama mask! I can’t! Grant and I were planning on egging the principal’s car this weekend!
JP: You’re not to ever leave your room. I am replacing your windows with titanium bars and having four armed soldiers guard your bedroom door.
CP: So I can’t TP your boyfriend’s house tomorrow, either?
JP: How did you know—just don’t tell your father and you aren’t grounded.
CP: I love you, Mom!
JP: You too, son. You too.
*smoochy noise*
<FIN>
